Thank you all so, so much for the wonderful congratulations and sweet comments on last Friday’s post. Every one of your comments and tweets and emails made me a little more excited for this little person to enter our lives in 2013.
So, I’m pregnant! I feel like a little bit of a faker for not sharing the news earlier, but with the last pregnancy being such a roller coaster, and the fact that many readers of my blog now know me in real life (and my work life), I felt that it was important for me to make sure of which way things were going before I shared. That said, it’s SO fun to be “out” publicly.
I wouldn’t have been able to hide the news for very much longer. I may only be 12 weeks, but y’all, I am BIG. Like, the equivalent of my 16 week belly pic when I was pregnant with Owen. That’s nearly a MONTH ahead in terms of baby bump growth. I can only hope this super duper waist expansion tapers off at some point, and I don’t end up looking 4 weeks “bigger” at the end than I was at the end of my pregnancy with Owen… I think I was pretty much maxed out at that point (remember how big I was when we got our new car, only 2 days before Owen was born?). That said, looking pregnant so early is kind of a blessing in disguise. I had a VERY short period of looking “kind-of-fat-but-not-yet-pregnant”, and moved quickly into baby bump territory. There’s no denying the news now!
THE FIRST TRIMESTER
I hesitate to even write this, because I feel like some sort of bad juju is going to bite me in the arse (and I know many pregnant women have it so much harder than I have), but I have felt really, really good so far. Yes, there were little things like food aversions and indigestion, but overall this baby has been particularly good to me. I really can’t complain. I’m so darn THANKFUL to be pregnant at all that I will take it all with a smile.
The exhaustion, though, is another story. I remember being tired when I was pregnant with Owen. Sure. But at that point I had nothing going on in my life other than work and grocery shopping and going to the gym, so when I was tired, I sat down. I put my feet up. I took a nap. This time, with a rambunctious 2 year old demanding my attention every second (not to mention spending the last few weeks working through every kind of illness known to man), that’s just not possible. The exhaustion has pretty much kicked my ass. By 7pm every night when Owen goes to bed, I’m sore like I worked out at the gym all day long and ready to crawl in bed for the night. Out for the count. I seem to remember a huge increase in energy soon after Christmas with Owen (it’s so helpful to have their due dates so close, as I can remember when things happened and it will be roughly the same), so I’m crossing my fingers that comes soon. I am wiped.
So though I haven’t been sick, I have had some other weird pregnancy symptoms that took me by surprise (aka things that didn’t happen with Owen). My childhood exercise-induced asthma has returned. When I was a kid I used to huff and puff when I had to run (especially outside), and I hated gym class. I was also a little, uh, round, so I attributed it mostly to being out of shape. But I had an emergency inhaler and used it mostly when I had to exercise out in the cold, and given my family history and the fact that Owen likely got his asthma issues from me, I have come to terms with the fact that the asthma is real for me. Apparently pregnancy often exacerbates asthma, so it’s not uncommon that I’m finding my chest getting tight when running up the stairs or briskly walking outside. I’m starting to use an inhaler prior to exercising to keep it at bay, as it is relatively minor right now. I also am having random nosebleeds and patches of super dry skin on my hands. Weird little quirks as my body adjusts to pregnancy. Bodies are amazing.
2ND CHILD SYNDROME
The biggest thing I’m surprised to feel so strongly is guilt about what I’m not doing for Baby #2. We don’t have a cute nickname. I haven’t written a single letter or kept a journal. I haven’t spent hours dreaming about if it’s a boy or a girl, or what color we should paint the nursery. Frankly, and understandably, I was scared to get attached this time. I’m barely getting my inbox cleaned out since the holiday rush, and cooking dinner has become a chore, as I’m dead tired. It’s classic 2nd child syndrome. I knew it was going to happen. In my mind I KNOW it’s ok. But I also wonder if this child will grow up one day and wonder where his or her letters are, and weekly pictures in the womb, and wonder if I loved him or her any less than Owen.
Weekly pictures are not even on the radar this time, but I do want to make sure I chronicle this pregnancy in the same thoughtful, reflective and conscientious way that I did with my first.
Did you do the same sort of “tracking” with each pregnancy or did you do something different? Definitely open to suggestions!