So, as I said yesterday, I have been playing phone tag with my doctor for the last few days. She told me to call her if I didn’t have a period in six weeks following the Provera Challenge. Since I am charting my temperatures every morning, I pretty much knew that I hadn’t ovulated, so I wasn’t surprised at all when I didn’t get my period. And now it’s the 5th week, so I decided to give her a call a few days early so I could get the appointment on my calendar. The early bird gets the worm (or the convenient appointment slot), right?
I was kind of surprised when, instead of setting up an appointment, she said, “I think the next step is for you to see an infertility specialist”. Uh oh. She said the “I” word. My stomach got tight. Wasn’t she the one telling me that anovulation following going off birth control was really very normal? Wasn’t she the one saying that ovulation can be easily restarted with Provera/Clomid? Wasn’t she the one who said my hormone levels and everything else were perfectly normal (“beautiful“, even?!) and that I was the picture of health? Why, then, was she seemingly washing her hands of me? Am I a lost cause?
No, of course not. She said she was happy to work with me, but that I might have a higher rate of success with an infertility specialist. But still, the idea of calling this “infertility” and needing to see a specialist hit me kind of hard. Frankly, I’m scared. I’m scared that maybe there is something wrong with me that can’t necessarily be fixed by a quick round of drugs and well-timed sex. I’m scared that I have just opened the door to something that will change Benjamin’s and my happy little life forever. I’m also a little scared that I’ll become one of those bitter women who are completely obsessed with getting pregnant and can’t talk about/do/think about anything else. I already have a blog about getting pregnant, for cryin’ out loud (although, to be fair, I thought the blog would be more about pregnancy and our family, and less about getting pregnant…)!
The reality is, though, that I’m only 26 years old. I’m in good health. I’ve never had any serious medical issues to speak of. There’s really no reason to believe that I won’t be able to get pregnant at some point. Not to mention that plenty of women have beautiful, healthy, wonderful babies after going to see infertility specialists. So, nothing to worry about, right?
Anyone out there seen one?