She Says… Foot Fetish

My 3 year old is a chronic rule-enforcer.

When he sees people on bikes, scooters or motorcycles without helmets on, he screams bloody murder while pointing at them as if they were a witch amidst the Salem witch trials. This has made for some very awkward moments when the rider (or, even more awkwardly, the underage rider’s parent) is within earshot. Owen will not rest until he knows WHY that person is not wearing a helmet, and he gets to me to say, “That’s not a safe choice”. Once in a while he even likes to shout, “THAT’S NOT A SAFE CHOICE!” at them, just for good measure.

While I’m glad he knows the rules, and generally follows them himself, we’re having a bit of trouble learning the parameters for EXCEPTIONS to the rule. Or, perhaps more importantly, the fact that we are not in charge of what other people do. And that it’s not polite to talk about other people, especially when they can hear you.

Baby steps.

Similarly, we have a rule that we always take off our shoes right when we walk in the house. If JUST FOR A MINUTE I need to run into the house with shoes on (bringing in groceries, say, or carrying Emmett in the carseat), he will point and remind me, “You have to take your shoes off. You might get dirt inside.” Lord help any guests that enter our house without taking off their shoes first, as they will get an earful from my little dictator.

You might think this stems from me being a stickler about these rules. But honestly, the things that Owen seems to hone in on are not even things I harp on regularly. I think he just likes bossing people around and being “right”. Hmm. NO IDEA where he gets that from.

The shoe discussion, though, extends beyond our house and has become Owen’s favorite topic of conversation. When kids at the playground have no shoes on, Owen cannot help but ask a million questions (always to me, and always within their earshot). Why do they have no shoes and socks on? Where are their shoes? Did their Mommies say it was ok to wear no shoes? Do the woodchips hurt their feet? Inevitably, the conversation turns to, “Can I take MY shoes and socks off?”. Probably at some point I said no to this question, and Owen is still trying to rationalize why I said no when their parents said yes. Nowadays I just say, “Yes. Knock yourself out. Take your shoes off. Run around.”

In the beginning I thought this was about the rules. But now I’m thinking it’s more about the feet.

Owen has a thing for feet.

  • He notices when I change the shade of my toenail polish even slightly.
  • He notices everyone’s toes. He encourages everyone them to take their shoes off (no matter where we are) so he can see if their toenails are painted.
  • He loves to have his own toenails painted and he shows EVERYONE, even if it requires taking off his shoes in the most inconvenient of places.
  • He jokes about stinky feet whenever shoes are taken off.
  • He can identify whose shoes are whose from a whole class of people. He must watch them come in and notice their shoes.
  • He begs Benjamin and I to tell him which shoes we are going to wear on a given day (flip flops or sneakers or “the red ones” or whatever) and whines and moans when we’re not all wearing the same type of shoe.
  • He notices the shoes that characters on tv and in books wear. He ALWAYS asks why barefoot characters are not wearing shoes.
  • If he sees bare feet pointed like a dancer, he’ll often mention, “Ooh! I love her feet!”.
  • He is OBSESSED with Emmett’s tiny feet. I mean, who isn’t?

Recently we were at a park where there were three huge statues of goddesses. Like most goddesses, they were not wearing shoes.

feet1

Guess who noticed?

feet2

Not only did he notice, but he sat down and started caressing the feet. Couldn’t stop talking about them.

feet4

I think someone has a foot fetish.

feet3

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10 responses to “She Says… Foot Fetish

  1. A budding podiatrist! 🙂

  2. Wow, that’s cute and curious! He’s really driven by details. How cute is he saying: That’s not a safe choice! – LOL
    xo
    Adriane

  3. Too funny!

  4. Oh! He is such a sweetheart!

  5. Angie All The Way

    Hilarious!

    We had one period where hubs would point out to Cameron his “toe lint” when he took his socks off and it turned into a need to check for toe lint every day. I was horrified! lol. It passed though 🙂

  6. That’s so funny! The first part reminds me SO MUCH of one of my kindergartners this year. I call him my little policeman, because he’ll be sitting at his table doing his work and he IMMEDIATELY stops and shouts “MRS N MRS N LOOK LOOK!!! LOOK RIGHT THERE!! SHE’S/HE’S (insert broken rule here)!!!” It absolutely cracks me up!! But it’s so helpful in another way because it has now become one of my jobs every week, I call it the safety monitor, and that student is in charge of letting me know immediately if someone isn’t being safe. I just adore it 🙂

  7. At 3 (and 4 (and now almost 5)) our girl was (is) a rules lawyer. Not quite the fixedness on feet in particular that you seem to have going there, but the bike helmet thing … oh yeah. And other similar stuff. People not stopping completely at red lights, kids who are allowed to run around restaurants, barefoot kids at the park (and wanting to barefoot herself), usw.

    I think it is about control and knowing stuff.

    Control – At this age, even the kids like ours who are given a lot of room for self-determination and exploration, kids have very little control over their own lives and a lot of parent/teacher/grandparent/grownup direction about what to do and what not. It’s our jobs afterall to help them learn how to be. But this leads to a sort of inevitable obsession with these things and if they are going to be controlled other people should be too and if other people are not then they want the power to not.

    Knowing stuff – Let’s face it, they are learning a ton of stuff super fast but they still are acutely aware of how much stuff they do not know. They are genuinely thrilled when they know a thing and even slightly more thrilled when they find they know a thing someone else does not.

    In her 4th year, our girl moved into a huge phase of wanting to know how I know things. I’ll spend 20 minutes explaining all about how ears work and she will be fascinated and being an active listener and then at the end there will be a pause and then, “Mommy, how do you know that?” Get ready!

  8. I just died reading this post. Picturing Owen scold strangers for not wearing a helmets…awwwww.

  9. This is a hilarious post. I might start showing up with some crazy shoes or nail polish to see Owen’s reaction!

  10. This is just hilarious – really made my morning! He has such a cute personality – they really are little people already, aren’t they? I love it! It is wonderful that you are documenting all of this, this is the stuff you will want to remember and laugh back at!

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