She Says… A Little Scare and Getting Ready for You

My little acrobat/soccer player/drummer,

We had a little bit of excitement last Friday. Last week was a long, LONG week. Daddy was traveling and I was working days and nights and Owen was, well, being two years old. I was so ready to just put my feet up after I tucked Owen into his new(ish) big boy bed. But I couldn’t quite shake this feeling I was having. Like something wasn’t right.

I won’t go into too much detail about what I was experiencing, because when you get older you’ll read this letter and be all, “Eww, Mom. That’s so GROSS.”, but let’s just say I was worried that my amniotic fluid may have been, uhh, coming out before the right time. I called the doctor and she told me that the only way to diagnose such a thing was to have a test done, and although chances were low that that’s what was going on, I had to go immediately to the hospital to be sure. So, no time for putting my feet up. I had to call a babysitter (who thankfully lives across the street) and head to the hospital solo. Bottom line: It wasn’t that. After a couple hours of monitoring and a quick test, we were on our way back home. Phew.

Side note: After the nurse hooked you up to the monitor, she would come back every once in a while and marvel at just how active you were. I still can’t believe it’s possible, but you’re even stronger and more active than your brother was. You were kicking and flipping and totally showing off for her, forcing the monitor to make sounds like a whale underwater that were even louder than your heartbeat. She also showed me the spikes on the screen that showed your brain activity. Apparently you were showing signs of neural development a few weeks ahead of your age. Little smarty pants. Your movements are so forceful that I’ve been watching them from the outside for several weeks, and recently you’ve even jolted my whole body with your movements (especially in the middle of the night!). With Owen I remember a clear pattern of awake/sleeping times. With you, it seems you’re almost always awake and moving. I may very well have my hands full if you keep that up once you come out.

Our little excursion to the hospital may have been short and a false alarm, but do you know what it did for me? It completely changed the way I think about you.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been thinking about you for 30+ weeks already. But something changed when I realized that if I was having the issue I thought I was having, I would have had to come to terms with the idea of meeting you much sooner than I expected. As in, you are A PERSON. And you are coming, whether we’re ready or not.

On the way home from the hospital my brain went into overdrive. You’re coming. In 10 weeks (or only 8 weeks if you’re on your brother’s time schedule… or sooner if you really want to catch me off guard…). While on some level I’ve been procrastinating because I know that babies really need very little when they come home from the hospital (really just diapers… and they even send you home from the hospital with some of those), now it’s time to kick it into high gear.

I’m sorry to say it, but your nursery has looked more like a storage closet than a bedroom for the last 20 weeks. A place where I dumped clothes and toys that Owen didn’t need anymore, but I knew we’d need again someday soon. Even the crib and changing table were just pushed in and left there when we switched Owen into his big boy bed.

But now, it’s time. Yesterday I washed 4 loads of teeny tiny baby laundry that have been packed in boxes in our attic since we moved. I nearly got high off of the smell of the baby detergent, completely overwhelmed by the memories of Owen’s early days. I cleaned baby seats and swings and carriers. I folded swaddles and receiving blankets. I opened boxes labeled “Baby Bottles” and unzipped my breast pump bag (which I promptly zipped back up again and tucked in the back of the closet — PTSD from the nursing issues I had with Owen) and flipped through books filled with advice about how to survive the first days, weeks, months. And I did it all thinking of you, as a little person, who we’re going to meet really, really soon.

I couldn’t be more excited. But can you make me a deal? Stay in there for at LEAST 8 more weeks so I can get even more ready for you. I know you don’t need me to sew curtains or stick little decals on the wall of your room, but it certainly would help me feel more calm and prepared for when you arrive. You do, however, need a carseat, and that’s still buried in the basement somewhere.

We’re getting there.

I’m so excited to meet you. And I can’t wait to learn all of the ways you will continue to surprise me, like you did last Friday. In the meantime, think about taking a nap or two, mmmkay little guy? I’m exhausted just by feeling you bounce around in there all day long.

I love you. More than you may ever really know.


6 responses to “She Says… A Little Scare and Getting Ready for You

  1. I’m glad everything checked out ok!

    I too am totally procrastinating this time around. I really do think it is because I know that he won’t be in his room for the first 6 months and that he really doesn’t need a ton of ‘stuff.’ I also just don’t have the same amount of time to spend on thinking and planning every little detail. I am getting really excited though and should probably start thinking about at least making room for him.

  2. So perfect! How exciting!:)

  3. So glad everything is okay! When I went in for an ultrasound at 20 weeks, the tech (casually) asked if I had had any cramping that day (I had) and then mentioned that I was having contractions – um, come again now?! And I did go into that appointment, prepared to talk about the “not right” feeling I was having – I knew it. Everything was fine (I’m supposed to be taking it easy – except I have two boys who don’t understand that concept), but I went into panic overdrive. However, if she’s anything like her two big brothers, we’re going to have force her out. Both of my boys really liked it on the inside! 🙂

  4. My sister is 32 weeks starting last Sunday and has a 14 month old. Well she lost her mucus plug at 31 weeks and had contractions, sending to the hospital for an IV and meds to stop labor. Went back again this week for NST for low movement. I take it you are due end of June/early July. Seems like everyone due around then has been having some pregnancy scares. Prayers for at least 8 more weeks for your little one.

  5. I’m at 32 weeks and without getting into the “eww gross” factor, I think I’ve been experiencing the same thing as you. I had a little “leakage” in the last 3 weeks of my first pregnancy but it has started much earlier this time around. My son was also 2 weeks early and I can’t help but think that this baby wants to come even sooner than his/her brother. I hope my mother’s instinct is off on that one! I hope baby #2 stays in until he is fully cooked to give you more time!

  6. Pingback: Get Ready For Your Little

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