Nope, not the kind of fever we usually have around this house. (Though, mercifully, we haven’t had much of that at all recently!)
For so long, I felt very strongly that I wasn’t quite ready to rock the boat and have another baby. My time with just Owen has been so special and sweet and intimate. Owen is such a lovely little boy and I haven’t felt ready to share him, or myself, with another baby. I wasn’t ready to split my attention and cause unnecessary chaos and turn my perfect life upside down.
Everyone around me is pregnant. And I mean everyone. Almost all of my friends who have babies Owen’s age are pregnant again. Together. Their bellies are growing and they laugh about how crazy it will be to have kids so close in age and how they will be best friends.
And slowly, ever so slowly, those little thoughts have begun to pop into my mind too. Fleeting, at first. A pang to feel those floppy newborn legs. An image in my mind of how cute Owen would be hugging a little “brudder”. Thinking about how, even if we got pregnant thisverysecond, we’d have 9 months to prepare and Owen would be like a different kid. Nine months ago feels like a lifetime in terms of the developmental milestones Owen has gone through, and I imagine the next 9 months will be the same. He’ll be big enough to help. He’ll be such an awesome big brother.
But then, of course, I hear the other voice in my head shouting, “Wait! Wait!”. Two kids in daycare changes our financial situation quite a bit. Two kids makes traveling (especially solo) that much harder. Two kids means we need to find a babysitter who’s cool with taking care of both at the same time. Two kids means splitting my attention during bedtime routines and cuddling with Owen one-on-one and not having the sole focus or time to have a long conversation filling in the blanks that his sweet toddler brain leaves out. And on and on and on. There’s a lot to think about when considering another baby.
And then, once my mind has gone in a million circles about timing and months and age difference and seasons to be pregnant… it all comes back to one, humbling thought. What a luxury to be able to actually plan when you get pregnant.
Although we’re not “trying” yet, and I really don’t know how quickly we will get pregnant, we are in a completely different situation than when we thought about getting pregnant the first time. And I am thankful for it every day. With Owen, we had our perfect schedule laid out, and then we took a detour when my body had other plans. Now, thanks to pregnancy and birth and, well, most likely just time without birth control, my body seems to have reset. We have no reason to believe that we will have trouble getting pregnant the next time. I’ve been charting cycles and they are shockingly normal with an identifiable ovulation day. No predictor kits. No drugs. No nothin’. Bodies are amazing things, people!
We have a plan for Baby #2. And it involves waiting a bit longer before we start trying. I’m just getting my head in the game.
What do you think is the ideal age difference between siblings? What month would you most like to give birth, if you could choose?