She Says… Today

Today I will do my best to…

relax and enjoy every moment Owen is awake.

be thankful for the ones when he is sleeping.


That is all.


19 responses to “She Says… Today

  1. Isn’t it funny how we cycle through obsessions? I did it/do it too…, when we were trying to get pregnant, I was obsesssed with BBTs and fertility theories. When I was pregnant, I was obsessed with a minor abnormality on an ultrasound (which turned out to be nothing). Now that I’m a parent, I cycle between obsessing over baby sleep/naps too! It’s crazy how some days I can’t get enough of the books and the forums and the advice form other moms….then other days I can’t even look at those things!
    Don’t worry Kate, it will all even out…..I mean, think of how far you guys have come? I always remind myself of that: “REMEMBER that first week? Look how far we’ve come and it’s only been 2.5 months!” I say to my hubby all the time 🙂
    And of course, it’s usually when you’re at the end of you’re rope that things start to settle down. Hang in there 🙂

  2. Thanks, Jessica! I’m not actually at the end of my rope — I feel very calm and zen and happy about our lives right now. I do understand the rotating obsession habit (that’s an understatement!) but I’m just trying to remember to not get caught up in it all. You’re SO right. I can’t believe how different we all are since those first few weeks!

  3. Sleep training is definitely the thing about childrearing that has caused me the most self-doubt and stress. I hope I wasn’t one of the people that made you feel judged by suggesting you postpone sleep training a bit; I know as someone who still feels insecure at times about our decision to allow Lydia to cry it out, I bristled at a lot of the comments.

    Here’s to a good day.

  4. I love this! It can be hard to just enjoy each moment, whatever it holds, but it sure is better when we do!

  5. Ok Kate, I feel you. Sometimes that is so hard though, especially when you are sleep deprived. I feel like everyone I know with babies right now is struggling, including myself. My Facebook page is littered with status updates imploring the heavens, why? why has my baby stopped sleeping. Is it the end of Daylight Saving Time? I know not. But I do know that you and I and all the others, we are not alone…

  6. I know that you know that sleep training is a hot topic, so hopefully you didn’t get too offended by the comments yesterday. I tried to leave a neutral comment, even if my personal beliefs differ from yours. I see it as that there are many different paths to the same destination, meaning that whatever method you use, eventually everyone learns how to sleep on their own.

    From your blog, I can tell that you like to research things and be “right” and maybe you might be happier if you took a break from reading books on sleep training and other baby issues. People think babies should be doing X by age Z, but sometimes your baby isn’t on that schedule. There will be things Owen does early and things he does late, but it isn’t right or wrong. Some babies sleep through the night at 4 months and it takes others longer. Some babies sleep through the night and then go back to waking up to eat. Just as you can’t push water up a hill, you can’t control your child’s sleep. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it, whether that is to let him cry or go to him.

    Bottom line that it is your baby and you know him best. Just make sure you are doing what YOU think is best, not trying to emulate a method in a sleep training book.

    I went through a lovely 3 week period of the baby SCREAMING in the middle of the night and then when I went to her, she was sound asleep. Now I let her cry for a few minutes to make sure that she’s really awake. If I let it go more than 5 minutes, the dog will wake up and come poke me until I get up. They must have some kind of pact 🙂

  7. I totally feel your *moment*. I too have been doing some sleep research and have asked myself questions. And now indeed, I am enjoying these moments. She’s already 4,5 months, before long she’ll be 6 months and before long 1 year!

    And like my mom said, who knows – she may be your last baby too, you never know what life might have in store for you.

  8. Kate, I apologize if you were hurt by any of the comments yesterday, including mine. It’s clear from your husband’s comments that they were interpreted as judgmental and offensive. I think that I (and probably a few others) misinterpreted your goals, which were clarified in your husband’s post. I was not intending to judge, but you asked for feedback at the end of your post. If you don’t want feedback that doesn’t reinforce what you’re doing, just let your readers know. I think we’d all be happy to respect that.

    To be clear, I think you are obviously a very caring mom, who has Owen’s best interests at heart. My concern, which probably could have been expressed better, was that 4 months is probably too young for cry-it-out style sleep training. I’m not anti-cry it out, although I believe it should be started at an older age and for short periods of time. Children certainly benefit from having a routine established and both children and families benefit from healthy sleep routines. I think that Kara is right, and there is such as thing as over-researching and over-reading. I did this with my first baby and I’m guessing that both you and I have similar type-A personalities that lead to this behavior. I wish you the best in finding what works for you and Owen and just urge you not to put too much pressure on yourself to be right in everything you do for him. Just go with your gut and do what keeps you and Owen happy and healthy. I hope he decides to sleep through the night early for you, but if he doesn’t, I hope that you can stay sane!

  9. I think you have a great sleep-training plan! I hope it starts to make sense to Owen soon, too. 🙂

  10. I think the single most valuable lesson I’ve learned as a mom is that sometimes the books just don’t apply to babies and that reading a lot of books/theories doesn’t necessarily give you the answers you need. It’s helpful to be informed, certainly, but if any of the books were really THAT good (“get your baby to sleep through the night in 3 nights!”, “make your baby the happiest baby EVER!”) we’d all read and agree with the same ones. That’s clearly not the case, so I’ve stopped reading and really just talk to other moms (and my pediatrician when I feel it’s warranted). You are a great mom and I hope you can cut yourself a lot of slack and just try to do what works for you. Also, baby habits really aren’t that bad to break, especially when they are older.

  11. i agree with jenn! my mother-in-law (a nurse a pediatricians office) always tells callers “BABIES DONT READ THE BOOKS!”

    yes some days are more frustrating than others but sounds like you have a good outlook! much better than mine i’d say! LOL.

    good luck!

  12. This is totally off subject, but what exersaucer/jumperoo did you buy? Also was wondering if you were planning on buying a jogging stroller when Owen is old enough. I love hearing your feedback. Thanks!

  13. Erin, I ended up getting the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo. It got great reviews, and I figured a jumperoo/exersaucer would eliminate the need to buy both a jumper and a saucer. Can’t WAIT for it to arrive — Owen’s new favorite thing is using ME as a jumper all day long. It’s super cute and lots of fun, but my arms are tired! As for a jogging stroller, I’m not sure if we’ll get one. I am not huge fan of running outside (I know it’s a little strange, but I prefer the treadmill and working out at the gym). Although my gym days are pretty much non-existent now and may be limited when I go back to work, I’m not sure if a jogging stroller is really something we need. Maybe I’ll feel differently in the spring, though!

  14. Kate, we have that jumper for Henry, our 9 month old. It survived use by our now-2 year old and still works wonderfully. Henry adores it! It’s not the most sightly item, but the utility more than compensates for the ugliness. I bet you and Owen will be in jumping heaven.

  15. Hi Kate! I want to congratulate you for your open book policy regarding your ups and downs in fertility, pregnancy and now parenthood. I keep my life somewhat private & find myself barely catching up with how Facebook/Tweeter/Blogging is totally redefining our way of interacting with one another. With that, it has to be totally ‘normal’ to allow for some type of difference of opinions regarding the feedback you request at times. At times, your approach at parenthood might be a ‘touchy subject’ and therefore getting ‘touchy replies’ will be the case. Just think how far you gotten in your life journey already! You are a mom and only you know what is best for your child. I agree with Molly, Jenn and Kara, our babies are not demanding us to read every theory book out there, they just need us! As an american raised in Madrid, I can tell you that in other countries, such big deal to books, percentiles or ‘specific training’ isn’t part of caring for a baby at all. Hurray! to you trying to relax and enjoy every minute with Owen, he is your precious little bean that wants your love even at odd times of the night…

  16. I love the attitude. I feel the same way most times. I do try to get my little one to sleep certain times and wake other times but bottom line is that they’re sleeping when they’re tired!

  17. As a Mum whose kids are grown I just want to note that the first kid is the hardest because it is all so new and you are trying so hard to get it all right. I have 3 kids (all grown) and I think the last one raised himself while I wasn’t looking. He was the easiest as a baby, probably through benign neglect or maybe just his personality – who knows? He was the worst as a teenager so you can’t win! They are all great now although there were times when they were growing up when I fantasized about just running away and leaving them all behind!
    Being a parent is one tough job but you know what – kids will love you and kids will blame you, they will resent you and they will forgive you.
    You do the best you can; you make mistakes, you try again. You have regrets but you forgive yourself. That’s just the way it is. As long as you love him and let him know that you love him then I believe that it will all turn out okay in the end.

  18. I’m having a rough week myself, and it helped to have this mantra today 🙂

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