He Says… Least Favorite Words

“Can you put the baby to bed?”

This makes me cringe.  And I feel horrible that I feel this way, because I am acutely aware of how much work Kate does, and I want to support her as much as I can in taking care of Owen.  Since my opportunities to feed Owen are limited, then putting him to sleep at nap times or when he gets up at night when it’s not time to feed him is something I should be able to do.

But I suck at it.

And it really bothers me.

I don’t know if it’s just not having “mom’s touch”, or whatever, but I find that every time I try to put Owen down it takes many attempts and sometimes some intervention by Kate to get the job done.  I find that if he’s being fussy, I am pretty successful at rocking or patting him and making him stop but often his eyes stay wide open, or when I try to transition him back to his crib, his face goes all red in his “I-am-about-to-wail” look.  So I pick him up again and start over.

Kate says he’s the same with her.  But I don’t believe her.

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9 responses to “He Says… Least Favorite Words

  1. My husband swears that the baby cries more for him too, but I can attest that it’s the same. The main problem in our household is that my husband gets home at 5pm, which is peak fussy time. I’ve left him alone with the baby every Sat morning so I can go running, and I think that has boosted his confidence level. Maybe if Kate can pump enough to leave you for a morning or afternoon with Owen, you’d feel better?

  2. I have the opposite fear – that my husband will be a total baby whisperer and I will have the struggles!

  3. I have two kids, and have a comment that is meant is the kindest way 🙂 There is no difference, only the men are lucky and can give up and the moms can’t. Men try, baby cries, and eventually tell their tired wives that they just can’t do it- the baby needs mom. Mom tries, baby cries, but mom has no choice but to stick with it until baby sleeps. So dad assumes that the baby just wanted mom- even if it took mom hours to get a result.
    Honestly, it is the truth. A mom can not give up- ever. That is why being a mom is the hardest job on the planet 🙂
    Your honesty is great though- it is probably how every parent feels but most won’t say it out loud. The lack of control is so frustrating and exhausting. But like they say, the reward is most definately worth it! I say keep up the good work, and know that your wife cringes when you tell her that you coundn’t do it, and she needs to now put the baby to bed!

    Really, I say this in the nicest way possible, with a sweet tone and a smile 🙂

  4. My suggestion is to get an exercise ball, and bounce up and down on that holding him in your arms. Worked great for putting both my boys to sleep! Swaddle him, turn him on his side, and bounce. It also does really help if they’re *ready* to sleep – at this age, that should be around 2 hours after the last wake up. It’s definitely going to take longer if it’s too soon, or if you’ve let his sleepy cues go by and he’s overtired.

    But seriously, the exercise ball works wonders, we called it “the magic ball” in our house for a long time. Works great for just settling a fussy baby too.

    And if you’re short an exercise ball, just the same motion of up and down movement by bending your knees can do the same thing. It’s just harder on your knees! (The exercise ball can be a little hard on your back, we used to put a boppy around our waist when doing it to help with that).

  5. i think my husband would say the same thing. i know he got all hot and bothered when the baby would cry and i think that baby sensed it which made her cry even more..i would come and cool and calm and she would go to bed. we loved an exercise ball too.

  6. Haha, my husband is the same way, but I know I am better at, so I spare everyone the pain and just do it most of the time.

  7. I agree with Tiffany – and will add that we moms often have more patience with baby-related tasks – which is why, if the child is sensitive to the emotions and body language of the parent, things may go faster when mom does them. However, chances are that if we have asked you to put the baby to bed, rather than just hoped you would volunteer, we need a break and will very much appreciate your efforts, even if we do need to be the relief pitcher in the end.

  8. I know I have more of the ‘touch’ with my baby than my husband but it’s because I spend more time with him (I stay at home and my husband works) but fortunately as of right now he goes to bed sooo easily. Then again, he’s only eleven days old. We’ve got a good routine down and he goes to bed really calmly. He’s most fussy in the early evening so my husband sometimes tries to calm him but I have learned several techniques to keep him quiet and it works every time but my husband hasn’t been able to learn all those techniques yet so he thinks I’m just better.

  9. Don’t worry, it’s the same in my household, except it was the other way around! Since I was around in the mornings, my husband started getting the feeding and putting to bed every night during the week so he could spend time with her. Low and behold, before we knew it, I was horrible at putting her to bed. But, you start to get your groove. just don’t give up. Ask Kate what she does. I wasn’t rocking her quite hard enough.

    Also, I wrote a blog post all about how we finally learned to put our daughter to bed and since she was 8 weeks old, she’s slept minimally 9 hours straight with this method. Here it is…I hope it helps!

    http://happilyalawmama.blogspot.com/2010/08/our-fool-proof-way-to-get-liliana-to.html

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