She Says… My Mommy Group

As you may remember, I was hesitant to join a Mommy Group. Or really anything with the word “Mommy” in the title. It’s not that I didn’t want to be a Mommy; far from it, in fact. But I cringe at the idea of being a “lady who lunches” and sits around comparing babies.

You know what? The Mommy Group I joined is nothing like that.

I’m sure many of you are giving the computer screen an “I told you so” look. Almost every Mom I know has joined a group of some sort, and loved it. I’m not really sure where my preconceived notions about Mommy Groups came from, I just know that I don’t like being put in situations where I’m supposed to be friends with people. It never really works out that way for me, and then I feel like I’m being fake. In any case, like I said, my Mommy Group is nothing like that.

In my group (at Isis Maternity) there are about 10 women with babies 3 – 10 weeks old. We all gathered in a small room with little chairs on the floor and Boppys for everyone (so cute!). One by one people arrived, and I was struck by just how different babies are at this early stage. Owen feels so much bigger and more developed than some of the 3 week olds, but lightyears behind the 10 week old. There is one baby who was born on the exact same day as Owen (now about 9 lbs) and he weighs 14 lbs! Looking at them side-by-side, you’d never guess they were the same age. I could have just stared at all the babies all day long, but our teacher got right down to business.

Each of the 6 weekly sessions are set up like classes, with topics to discuss and skills to learn. Then after each class, we have the option to go out together as a group to get coffee or grab a bite to eat. This week we discussed baby fussiness (something I am becoming more familiar with, since my previously perfect baby is hitting the 6 week peak of fussiness himself!) and soothing techniques, as well as carriers/wraps. As we began to share our experiences with our babies, I came away with a few important realizations:

  • We are incredibly lucky to have been blessed with a baby who is a good sleeper. It sounds like Owen gets more sleep than a lot of babies his age, and is relatively easy to put down for naps. He knows night from day, and we have a pretty reliable schedule that works well for both of us.
  • Similarly, we are so fortunate to have a baby who hasn’t really been fussy much until the past week. If 6 weeks is the peak of fussy behavior (so I’ve read), then we did pretty well, since he didn’t really start fussing until 6 weeks. He’s beginning to fall prey to the universal baby-witching hours, 6pm – 8pm. Well, that’s his fussy time. Apparently some others enjoy this lovely period from 5pm – 10pm!
  • Another takeaway: USE THE PACIFIER. Since I read/heard so many horror stories about pacifier addiction and overbites and getting up in the middle of the night to play “find the missing paci in the crib”, I hadn’t given Owen a pacifier. The downside? He is totally a sucker. He needs to suck to soothe, and the fussy evenings of late would have been a lot nicer if I could calm him with the paci. The teacher asked my group how many people were using the pacifier, and nearly everyone raised their hand except for me. I was missing out on a very powerful tool! Since then, I’ve used it a few times, and it really does calm him. I’m thinking I’ll encourage him to use it to soothe fussiness, but not give it to him in the crib, so I don’t have to worry about addiction or starting bad habits. We’ll see if I can stick to that 🙂
  • I also learned a great new hold to do with my Moby wrap. The Moby wrap is one, long piece of stretchy fabric that can be wrapped a number of different ways around you to carry your baby. The upside is that it’s so versatile; the downside is that it’s confusing and difficult to figure out which one is best for you. The instructor showed a hold I hadn’t tried before, and I’ve popped Owen in it several times since then. Love it!

After the class was over, I was shocked that I actually wanted to go out and get a coffee and keep chatting. It was a wonderful feeling to have nursed Owen during our class, so we were able to go out and not risk a meltdown in public. I had a great time hanging out with two of the women from class over a latte.

I’m looking forward to next week!


9 responses to “She Says… My Mommy Group

  1. i forced my kids to suck their thumbs and it worked! my daughter is 7 and rarely does not, but my son who is 5 that’s the first thing he does when we get to the car after picking him up for kindergarten.

  2. Yay! I’m so glad that you’ve found support with a group of moms you like!!

  3. Your group sounds great; glad that is working out so well for you!

  4. Enjoy the good sleep while you can. My daughter slept for four – five hour stretches for the first 2.5 months and then suddenly, two weeks, ago, she was waking up every 2-3 hours. And she didn’t stop. She also stopped napping. All this on the cusp of the famed 3-month mark, when everything is supposed to get better. Just know that a great sleeper now does not a great sleeper later make.

    It’s so awesome that you found a good baby group. I haven’t been able to find one that I’ve really clicked with and it’s been hard. I hope yours continues to be an asset for you.

  5. Three cheers for Great Beginnings! My group still keeps in touch. It was such a great experience for us.

    And don’t sweat the paci addiction. It’s not that hard to break later on, and might as well get some good use out of a great tool. 🙂

  6. I just tossed the paci at 5mths, the earlier you get rid of it the easier it is…
    It was helpful though.

  7. I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! I can’t wait to join one myself whenever my baby decides to show up!

  8. So happy that you really love your Mommy group! I’m going to get on the hunt for one that I think I’ll like. I know of a few “breastfeeding support” groups, but one of them is at the place where I bought my Maya wrap and they are super “granola” types who took an attitude when I asked if they were going to get any Moby wraps in stock and the lady got all serious and said, “Yeah, at the end of the month, but they’re not organic!” – all judgmental. I laughed a little out loud because it was a little much! lol I mean, I get the importance of natural and organic, but really?!?! lol

    Speaking of Moby wraps, what new way of holding him are you talking about? Is there a name for it? Help a sister out 😀

    I tried giving Cameron a paci a few times, just because I could tell he was trying to pacify himself on my boobs and it was getting to be a little much and I even bought one of those “tommy tippee” closer to nature ones and he just doesn’t care for it at ALL and gets an annoyed look on his face and spits it out! The only way I’ve been able to get him to suck on it for any period of time has been to put his Vitamin D drops on it and then insert it and he’ll suck on the yummy taste of the drops for a while. I was kind of hoping that I COULD give him a paci for those moments, but like you, only for those types of situations.

    I’m sure Owen will pass through this stage soon enough – if there’s one thing we can count on is that just as we get used to one “routine” or thing, they go ahead and change it up on us! 😉

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