She Says… 20 Weeks

My darling Piccolino,

Let’s celebrate, we are halfway there! Believe me, I am not wishing this special time away; I have never felt so proud of my body and so filled with love for where I am in life this very moment. When I was trying so hard to create you, I remember wishing each day would fly by so I could find out if I was pregnant or start a new cycle. And I know some women wish that the uncomfortable moments during their pregnancy pass so they can get to the exciting moments when their babies are born. But really, I can’t think of anything better than what’s going on right now. I felt the same way yesterday and I’ll feel the same way tomorrow. I cherish these last days of Benjamin, Schnitzel and I being the extent of our “family” and want to live each one in the moment. I am so excited for you to arrive, but I will never forget how incredible it feels to actually be growing you into a little person inside my body.

I often joke with Daddy about how I am glad I’m the one who is pregnant instead of him. Usually I am rubbing in the fact that I eat healthier, or do yoga, or read up on things like which vitamins to take and what’s going on inside my body every week. But to be honest, it’s really quite a selfish thing. It is my greatest thrill in life so far to be the one keeping you safe and happy while you grow from the size of a poppyseed to a watermelon. It’s such an amazing responsibility and I am so fortunate to be able to experience it.

This week you are the size of a cantaloupe. Did you hear that?! A CANTELOUPE. That seems… well… gigantic. Makes me wonder where the rest of my internal organs have gone to make room for you (although I guess that size is just related to your crown to rump measurement, not the roundness of the canteloupe… but still!). You are beginning to grow permanent teeth behind your baby teeth. Sometimes I think about how surprising it would be for you to be born with a full set of teeth, grinning like the Cheshire cat. Although I would love you just the same, I hope that doesn’t happen 🙂 You’ve also begun creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion and dead cells), which will fill your first diaper after birth. Way to get a head start on that, little guy. And, apologies if this is TMI for the internet, your genitals are now fully formed!

Finally, thank you, thank you, thank you for kicking me hard enough for me to feel you a few days ago. It was exciting, awe-inspiring and totally strange all at the same time. Keep boppin’ around in there, I don’t mind being poked and prodded (yet).

I love you more than I have the words to say.


7 responses to “She Says… 20 Weeks

  1. yay for a tiny baby penis 😉

  2. time is flying!!

    can’t wait to see the results of your nursery design class

  3. When I brought my ultrasound pictures to school, the kids could read the word “boy” with the arrow pointing to the penis! They were asking what it was, and finally someone said “That’s the privates!!! ” haha!

  4. I remember wondering the same thing – where do your “innerds” go if there is a cantelope hiding in there? Pretty amazing what our bodies can do!

  5. Schnitzel is such an adorable name for a dog!!

  6. Happy 20 weeks!!! I can’t believe you’re halfway there. And I’m with you, I will truly miss being pregnant. Such an incredible experience to know that I have a human life growing in there. And I always get to keep the baby with me right now. 🙂

  7. That was beautiful, Kate. Thank you for sharing how proud of your body you feel and how thrilling it is to be keeping your little dude safe and happy:) Pretty amazing. peace.

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