She Says… On Having a Boy

A boy. We’re having a boy. We’re going to have a son. A little man. Those words still feel strange to say out loud. I can’t decide if it’s because finding out the sex made the whole thing feel indescribably more real, or if it’s because for some strange reason both Benjamin and I had convinced ourselves we were having a girl.

When the doctor said, “There’s his little wee wee” (yes, that’s really what she said), neither of us reacted right away. We were kind of stunned. “We’re having a what?” “A boy.” Part of me feels sort of bad that we weren’t immediately comfortable with the idea. I mean, it was a 50/50 chance, so I’m not sure why we had always pictured ourselves with a girl. But as my older sister told me recently, “Those emotions are a fact of life”. It doesn’t mean we’re sexist or disappointed (not in the LEAST!), it’s just a paradigm shift from what we had been imagining for the past few months.

I cannot even put into words how thrilled we are to have a little boy. I barely heard the rest of the words that came out of the doctor’s mouth (although I do know our little guy has all his bits in the right places… everything checked out healthy and progressing normally). My mind was entirely preoccupied with imagining the milestones our son will have throughout his life: his first steps, his first day of preschool, his first kiss, his first love, his first car, his graduation from high school, and on and on. Although somehow it seems slightly more daunting to have a boy (not sure why — just my opinion at this moment!), Benjamin and I are ready for the challenge. We are ready to raise a sweet, loving, thoughtful boy, who will someday become a wonderful man.

So… you want to know the name? Well, you’re going to have to wait. Although we’ve decided on the name, we’ve also decided to keep it a secret until the little one is born. Why? First of all, I don’t want to hear any negative feedback while we still have the chance to change the name. We love it, and we chose it very carefully, and it’s not going to change. Secondly, there is something very special about Benjamin and I (and Schnitzel, of course!) being the only people in the world who know the name. It’s something we get to share for the next few months, and I think it allows us to create a strong bond with the little guy before he’s even here. Lastly, I hate the idea of people talking to my belly and using the name. Somehow that seems really personal and intrusive. So, Piccolini (the plural fom of “little one”, since I didn’t know if it was going to be a boy or girl), is now officially PiccolinO! But that’s as close as you’re going to get to the real name 🙂

For those who have had boys, what is your favorite thing about having a baby boy? For those who do not have kids, if/when you do decide to have kids, do you have a preference for a boy or girl?


31 responses to “She Says… On Having a Boy

  1. We had a boy in October and the greatest thing (for us) was that his daddy wasn’t AFRAID of him. Eddie had voiced his concerns about how dainty little girls are. He’s from a rough-and-tumble, athletic family and dainty isn’t in his nature. He told me he hoped he could LEARN on a boy and then if any girls follow, fantastic. Our 4.5-month old is already all boy. He’s a wild man who wishes he could move already! I can’t wait to see him grow up. (PS – You’ll spend a LOT less on boy clothes, in my opinion! Girl clothes are so cutesy that I just wanted to grab everything right up!)

  2. We felt EXACTLY the same way; somehow convinced it was a girl (for no reason, really), and then when we heard it was a boy, it was like….”hhmmmm, a boy, huh?” Hmmm…..
    I hated to admit that I felt almost disappointed or not properly excited, and I had no idea I really *wanted* a girl. Obviously we are thrilled either way, but you described the feeling to a T!

    Congrats on your boy 🙂

  3. It’s funny that you think boys are more challenging…I think girls are WAY more challenging, especially in their teen years! I will be happy with either gender – I really just want a healthy baby – though I have always just felt that I would have a boy first.

  4. Congrats!! I have 2 boys (& 1 girl) and they are awesome, both are such mamas boys. My oldest is 4 and the baby is 8 months and they couldn’t be more different but they are both cuddle bugs! “They” say that boys are harder in the beginning and get easier as they get older but really my 2 year old daughter is the hardest of the 3.
    Good luck!

  5. We aren’t finding out because we don’t care at all. However, our gut feeling is that it’s a boy. I will actually be disappointed either way because it’s letting go of the other gender. I want a boy for certain reasons and a girl for other reasons. Congrats on your little boy!!!

  6. I kinda pictured the two of you with a girl too, and I have no idea why. But a little BOY is fantastic news! Congrats! Can’t wait to hear the name in a few months.

  7. I thought for sure it was girl too, and was kinda bummed that it wasn’t. Sorry! but CONGRATULATIONS on your little Piccolino!

    I know this is stupid, but I want 2 girls & 1 boy, in that order. And just for wanting that, I’m probably going to have all boys. Sheeesh.

  8. I am so excited that we are both having boys! Congrats! Hubby and I both secretly really wanted a boy (we wanted a big brother for the next baby, if God gives us another!) and everybody thought that we were having a girl… we were so thrilled when we found out! We aren’t telling anyone names, either… but we don’t exactly have one picked out yet. We have a couple we really like and we are going to wait until we see his little face.

    Congrats again on your little man… now you can start on that nursery!

  9. I wanted a boy, hubby said “he didn’t care (yeah right), close family wanted us to have a boy, extended family wanted us to have boy, friends wanted us to have a boy, so I was pretty much convinced God was going to give us a girl. wrong. YAY! A BOY!

    Congrats to you two! I thought you were having a girl. LOL.

    We are still working on the name thing (but I think you are doing the right thing keeping it a secret!).

  10. what great news!!! congratulations!
    i had a friend who had mostly girls then one boy. she said how much relief her husband felt having a son because with their girls they have to worry about all the other “wee-wees” and keeping them away from their girls but with their son, they only have one wee wee to worry about!
    i always thought that was kinda funny 🙂

    my husband and i keep picturing me carrying a boy. we still have 4 more weeks, i’m trying to shift my thoughts to a girl, too…..but it’s kinda hard since we both really think its a boy!

    sorry, one more thing. did you check the chinese gender prediction chart? i hear its 90% accurate. mine says boy…..just wondering if yours predicts you are having a girl?!

    congrats again!

  11. I don’t really care what I have I just want to know! We got “well, I think it’s a girl… but don’t paint the walls.” They’ve tried checking again twice since then and no more answers! Just be happy you know what you’re going to have!


  12. Totally normal to need some time to let it all sink in!! While all any of us really want is a healthy baby, I think it’s easy to get a certain idea in your head of what the sex is going to be… and it can knock you for a loop if you find out otherwise!

    I would really prefer that our first is a boy (I grew up with an older brother), so I know that if it’s not, I’ll have to change my line of thinking.

    However, I’ve already started pumping myself up about girl things b/c DH believes that Baby Blakely is a girl. Of course, I’ll be thrilled either way– it would just take some getting used to, b/c it’s not the way I pictured it.

    There are so many wonderful things about having a boy or a girl– and once you get used to the idea, the excitement will set in. Boys LOVE their mamas!!

  13. Congrats on a boy!
    When we have kids, I want a girl…and my husband wants a boy. I’m not sure why I want a girl…and i’m sure that when and if we have kids I’ll be happy either way.

    No matter what we have, I know my poor child will get dressed in both boy and girl clothes. I just love little baby clothes with puppies on them! Even if they are all in blue and brown!

  14. As you read on my blog the other day-we were convinced that Lu was a boy and had much the same reaction that you did. I ALWAYS said that I wanted a boy first (but anything would be fine) and EVERYONE thought I was having a boy. I can’t imagine a little boy now. Lu is exactly who she needed to be and she’s just right.

    I think a little boy is going to be so fun! It’ll be great. Once he gets here you be able to believe that you ever thought you were going to have a girl. I promise.

  15. Yay for boys!! There’s something special about a little boy’s love for his mama ;).

  16. Congratulations on finding out about your little man! I found your blog a few weeks ago and my wife and I have really enjoyed your updates. We have an 18 month old son and also have second son who is one week old today! I was pretty convinced that baby #2 was a girl, but was very happy when he was born last Friday! Boys are great…they are sweet, loyal, and they really love their mommy (and daddy too, of course.) One thing to expect with boys: you will get peed on. A lot. And you can’t help but laugh hysterically when it happens (even at 3 am.) Probably my favorite thing about boys so far is that he is tough and sensitive at the same time…he likes to pound toys on tables and make a lot of noise sometimes, but he is also a world class cuddler and wants to hold your hand when he is in an unfamiliar situation.

    I like your decision to keep your name a secret. It will be a good surprise for your family and friends when he is born.

    Congratulations again and thanks for sharing your experiences on this blog. You have so so much to look forward to with your little boy.

  17. YAY! I’m so happy for you! I actually voted that I thought you were having a boy 🙂 I actually wish that I’d had an older brother so awesome!

  18. So excited for you guys!! I have a 16 month old son and we didn’t find out so I had no time to really think about what having a boy would mean.

    I think there are a lot of things I love about having a boy…the fact that he is so sweet to me and that makes me think I am the first woman that will see this sweet side of him; I love when he plays “rough” with me and we wrestle around and hearing him scream and giggle; even when he does “boy” things: burping in my face, rolling in dirt and trying to drink the dog’s water, I still think of him as my sweet little boy. He is going to be a big brother in July and that is one more adventure I can’t wait to see him tackle.

    You will love having a boy, and just a couple weeks after having him you and your husband will probably find yourselves saying “what would we have done if we had a girl first?”.

  19. Can you imagine having those same feelings after going to through labor and delivery? People gave me flack for wanting to find out the sex, but we had our heart set on a boy (my husband is an only son of an only son so we had the pressure of passing on the family name) and I didn’t want to be disappointed if I had a girl. Boys are GREAT by the way! Our son has been such a blessing to us piccolino will be a huge blessing to you guys!!!

  20. we have two children. we didn’t find out the sex of either one but we have one of each, our daughter was born first, then 22 months later our son. I am closer to my son, we are much more alike than my daughter and I are. he is a cuddle bug and loves me to hold him and cuddle with him still, he is 4 1/2. my daughter wasn’t very snugly…you will just love him, as you could if your baby was a girl. everything will work out. i do not blame you one bit for not telling people his name. we told people our choices for our first baby and learned our lesson. people are full of opinions.

    by telling people you get a lot of gifts with his name on it….it can get overwhelming.

  21. Congrats on a baby boy!! Boys are awesome.

    My big boy (all of 15 mo’s) is the absolute sweetest, and loving and cuddly, funny and sensitive little thing, and at times so stubborn and obstinate. And he LOVES his mama. He loves his daddy too, and that will be it’s own very special relationship, but it’s true what they say about Daddy’s girl, mama’s boy. It’s just different. He will walk up to me at any point in the day and just hug my leg or put his head down on my lap. You will love having a boy!

  22. Congratulations!! Welcome to team blue. Seriously, every preggo I know is having a boy; there must be something in the water. Although I initially thought we were having a boy, I allowed myself to be swayed by others (including my husband) into thinking it was a girl. It was easy – I had a girl’s name and nursery design all picked out! I’m such a girly-girl that I was a little disappointed at first, even though I want one of both genders eventually. But now I’m so excited to be having a boy! I think he’s going to give me a much-needed new perspective on life and I can’t wait to meet him – but not too soon!

  23. Awww YES!!! I’ve been picturing a boy all along, even from when I met you back in HLS before Piccolino even existed!

    I think it’s because I’ve always wanted a boy….3 in fact :). Funny how people anticipate one or the other.

    Regardless, Little P will be the most loved child in the whole world. I can’t wait for him to be born so I can see his cute little face already.

  24. Congrats on the boy! I totally stalked your blog yesterday until I saw it posted. 🙂

    I agree with you completely on not telling the name! We did not find out what we were having (despite, oh I’d say 35 or 40 ultrasounds) so we had 2 boy names and 2 girl names picked out when we went to the delivery room. We’d talked about name ideas generally with family, but never said what we’d settled on (which we really hadn’t for sure). You’re right in that people will make judgments and comments and it’s much harder for them to when that name is attached to a little person they can SEE. 🙂

    I’m thrilled for y’all. My friend found out she was having a girl a few weeks back and her comment was “you know it’s a 50/50 chance either way and you’re preparing yourself for both. Some part of you is going to be a little bit disappointed and have to adjust.” Like you, they were totally excited, it just took a minute to let that really kick in.

    Now, to nursery decorating! That was totally my favorite part of pregnancy.

  25. A boy! That is great news! Your symptoms were so similar to my symptoms with Nicholas that I couldn’t help but think that is what you might be having. As a mom, I think having a little boy is the best. There is something about the mother-son connection that can’t be duplicated. I love the little blue snuggly pajamas they wear when they are little. And now that my little guy is 4, I loved watching him go through the train stage, the car stage, and now the Transformers stage. My mom always said, every mom should be so lucky to have a boy to dress in little blue jeans. It will be fun to read what your favorite thing will be. Congrats!

  26. I think it is very sweet to keep the name a secret! I admire you because we couldn’t do it! I had to spill the beans. Plus my mom just “has” to start monogramming!!! yeah for Piccolino!

  27. We kept Lydia’s name a secret, but we did share her first initial (Ls are the main “theme” in her nursery–we just couldn’t get into anything more theme-y than that). It was so much fun to keep people guessing and then have a great reveal when she was born!!! Kudos on the decision to keep it a surprise!

  28. As nosy as I am and would love to know the name you chose, you are doing the right thing! And us nosy parkers need wait it out and enjoy the surprise when he is born. Best wishes for a great pregnancy and delivery.

    I had two girls, so I have no input it what goes on in raising a son. Just don’t turn him into a mama’s boy like my sister has with her son, it is one thing to be close to mom, but another, when you son spends hardly anytime with his dad.
    I’m sure you guys won’t do that though, you seem like you will be fantastic parents.
    My friends that have both girls and boys, say the difference is how active boys are and louder!!

  29. Dear Kate and Benjamine,
    Congratulations on ur little picollino . My goodness. You guys must be over the moon, I came across your webpage through your youtube video on the day you found out that you were pregnant last week. I swear i cried all the while. Me and my hubby have been trying for a baby for the past few months. I took OCP about 2years ago for a short period of time and since than nothing . Somehow nature seems bent on not working out for us. Its been a real disappointing time for us both. As my Menstrual date beckons I cant help being an emotional wreck and cry at a drop of a hat. I seem to have convinced myself I dont deserve to have a baby. I stumbled across ur video at a time where i was so low and out of hope and depressed . Reading your story kinda brought some hope back for us. Wish us luck . I pray we are as lucky as you guys . Congratulations once again guys.

  30. Congratulations!!! We’re having a girl, and beforehand I really didn’t think about what it would be, everyone asked what I thought and I honestly did not know. But deep down inside I *wanted* a girl more, but would have been thrilled with either. I kept saying, I just want a healthy baby. Ideally I want one of both, so we’ll see what happens with the 2nd. I totally agree with you on not saying the name, everyone keeps asking us and they don’t understand that we want to keep it a secret.

  31. Hi there! I’m a little late, I just found your blog, but after reading your story and previous entries I have to say I’m really happy for you guys, even though I don’t know you. Your announcement video made me cry. 😛

    Baby boys are great! I always wanted a boy first, and I got one last August. (Though we also just assumed it was a girl, which would’ve been great, too!)
    He’s only 7 months old, so I haven’t really had to ‘parent’ his boyishness, but I can say that he is VERY affectionate and cuddly, but also likes rougher play. I also experienced four boy cousins from their births, all brothers. The oldest is now 12, but I loved helping look after them and play with them. I thought they were hilarious! It was a nice change from my two younger sisters – three girls = tantrum central.

    We kept our baby’s name a secret, too. In fact, we hardly ever used it ourselves when he was still inside. We just referred to him as Baby. It was nice being able to announce his name when he was born.

    Congratulations and have fun!

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