She Says… 1 Year Blogiversary!

Happy birthday, This Place is Now a Home!

On February 22, 2o09, this blog was born. I finished my masters degree program, threw the birth control out the window, and we optimistically entered a new phase in our lives together: the “trying” phase. We had no idea at the time of course, but not only were we embarking on a new phase of our lives to start a family, we were also about to go through months of frustration, anger, sadness and struggle together to make that happen. On that day in 2009 the thought of having trouble making a baby had never crossed my mind. I knew that it takes women my age an average of 6 months to get pregnant, but both Benjamin and I secretly thought it would happen immediately. We were young, healthy and anxious — what could possible go wrong?

Apparently… lots. You all know the story (or if you don’t, you can read the timeline here), so I won’t re-tell it again. But it is overwhelming to me what we went through and how much we learned throughout the last year. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing about how this last year unfolded. It opened my eyes to how common it is to struggle with infertility, and was an unforgettable object lesson in recognizing that you have no idea what issues other people are dealing with in their lives at a given moment. It brought Benjamin and I closer as a couple, and I honestly didn’t even think that was possible. It was like we became one person to fight this fight. Perhaps most importantly, it has made me value and cherish every moment of being pregnant and I imagine it will color every moment I spend with my little one(s). Because I know just how much of a miracle this baby is, I am able to appreciate even the less-than-pleasant parts of pregnancy and I hope I can do the same once the baby arrives.

Riding the infertility roller coaster brought another very important thing into my life as well — YOU! The struggle to get pregnant caught Benjamin and I so off-guard that we didn’t even realize how “open” we were being on the blog or how rare our candidness was… we just kind of wrote everything as it happened. One day at a time. In doing so, however, we began to meet other young, healthy couples going through the same things. The community of people I met through blogging carried me through the hard times. I love reading every email and learning each reader’s story. These relationships have (caution: cheeseball alert!) made me a better person — more understanding, more empathetic, and more willing to listen without judgment.

I know many people have struggled longer and harder than we have. But to be honest, I’m not sure it’s the length of the journey that matters. We are all alike in that we’ve looked infertility in the face and decided to fight it.

Benjamin and I have come full circle in the last year. It’s been a wild ride. Happy 1st Birthday, little blog!