He Says… Am I ready?

Last night we had some friends over for dinner.  They brought their adorable 10 week old son over with them.  We have seen them a few times since they had him, and from what I can tell he is a pretty perfect baby.  Doesn’t fuss too much, hardly any crying and totally adorable.  (They assured me that he is a little more work than what we are seeing, but he is a great baby.)  We had a lovely time with them, and I got to play with the baby and our dog Schnitzel gave him lots of kisses.  I kept looking at him, though, and thinking, am I REALLY ready to have one of these of my own?  It was really just last week, when I saw in the ultrasound an image inside Kate’s belly that somewhat resembled a human (or a gummy bear), that it started to feel like we are actually having a child.  But playing with our friends’ baby, I couldn’t help but think how I would appreciate the peace and quiet I would get after they left and took their little bundle of joy with them.  No waking up at night to feed or change a diaper like they’ve described.  No crying.  I could just get into my own bed and sleep soundly all night.

I think I was partly feeling this way because I had a lovely and uncommon weekend of being an utter couch potato.  I saw 2 movies in the theater and watched 3 movies at home.  I don’t think I’ve done that in years, and if felt perfect and relaxing and just what I needed.  I realize that after we have a baby, that luxury may not occur again, until, well… our child leaves for college maybe.

Now I realize there is more to life than watching bad movies on tv.  And I certainly am completely excited about the prospect of becoming a dad, but everytime we visit with friends who have babies, I always have this feeling that I am glad to not be in their shoes yet.  I was talking about this a little at dinner last night and my friend said that he felt the same way before their son was born, and it was different for him once they had their own.  I imagine that is true.  I know that I find newborns to often look like strange little aliens, but many have assured me that once it is my own, I will feel differently.

And I know I WILL feel differently.  I think it’s just a little pre-baby jitters, which I assume are quite common.  Right?

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10 responses to “He Says… Am I ready?

  1. Well, I don’t have kids, but my Sister and brother in-law are about to have their first,a nd they both have pre-baby jitters. I would say it’s perfectly normal!

  2. That’s why you get 9 months of gestation-to get you ready :) Once it hits, it does suck at times BUT it is SO worth it.

    Lu is 15 months old and we haven’t been to a movie BUT we see lots of things at home on Netflix. We also go out A LOT but a movie isn’t at the top of our list right now. :)

  3. I wouldn’t get concerned. Those feelings are totally normal – for the mom and dad to be. Personally, I haven’t had these feelings, I’m just excited daily, but I think most people do! It’ll be different when it’s your own and I’m sure you will never have regrets. They’ll be so many other great things going on in your life when the little one comes that it will be worth all the sacrifices.

  4. I’m almost 31 weeks pregnant, and even though I can’t wait to meet my son, I still have those feelings sometimes…I’m sure my husband does, too! It all still feels a little surreal, you know? Having a child is kind of a big deal…I think it’s perfectly normal to be nervous and anxious at times. We’re just trying to enjoy our last quiet weeks together as much as we can, until our world is turned happily upside-down.

  5. We kept pushing off having kids “just one more year”. Didn’t feel ready. Wanted to do more things. Blah blah.

    Then my mom told me, “You will never TRULY feel ready to have kids! EVER!!” Of course then followed it up by saying wait a few more years. LOL.

    Seriously though, I believe her. How can anyone feel “ready” for such a life changing thing? I know I’ll never be!

  6. Absolutely– What’s that quote?

    “A woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant. A man becomes a father when he sees his child.”

    You’ll get there. :)

  7. You are so right, it will be completely different after baby comes and you’ll be lucky to catch even ONE movie in the theater their entire first year! BUT staring at your baby to figure out which parts look like you and which parts look like your wife and finding things that make him/her laugh will be all the entertainment you need!

  8. par for the course. its why you have so much time to prepare :)

  9. You will get those quiet moments at home, and while they may be fewer and further between, you’ll be able to sneak in to the nursery and peak on your baby and see them sleeping.

  10. You’re so right, Benjamin – it Will be different when your baby is at last in your arms, looking into your eyes.

    Loving congratulations to All of you –

    (from a NERFA cohort of your Dad)

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