She Says… A Little Peek Inside

On Wednesday Benjamin and I had our 10 week appointment with our new OB. The last appointment I had was with the nurse practitioner, so I hadn’t ever met the OB before. It was kind of like a blind date. I was a little anxious that if we didn’t click, I’d have to go searching for a new doctor. Benjamin accompanied me, and we were both hoping she would pull out the Doppler and let us hear that little thump thump to reassure us that all was still well.

We arrived at the office and I (of course!) had to pee. I decided to go before we checked in with the receptionist. Well, that was poor planning, because apparently whenever you go to the OB, you have to give a urine sample. Oops! I should have thought of that. Good news: I have to pee just about every 15 minutes, so it was not hard for me to do it at the end of my appointment. Lesson learned.

The nurse weighed me (although it feels — and looks — like 20, I’ve gained 5 pudgilicious, baby-loving pounds, which is right about where I “should” be). But before she could take my blood pressure, the fire alarm went off! She verified that it was NOT a drill, and we had to evacuate the building. I’m glad I hadn’t taken off my clothes yet! There’s snow on the ground here! 15 minutes later we were let back in.

Then our blind date arrived. She was great! A bit of a slow-talker, which sometimes makes me crazy, as someone who talks/writes/reads/goes a million miles an hour, but she had a very sweet manner and was reassuring and calm. CALM is what I’m going to need in the delivery room, I think, so she passed the test. And then she said the most wonderful thing: “I’m going to do an ultrasound to date the pregnancy and take a peek inside… is that ok with you?”. Ummm, is that OK?! Hell yes Yes, please! We were so excited to get another glimpse of our little one. And guess what? This time Piccolini TOTALLY looked like a tiny, little human. Well, maybe a little more like a gummy bear, but certainly more human than the tiny, fuzzy dot we saw at 6 1/2 weeks. We could see the little guy/gal swimming around in there, and even saw a tiny hand waving at us while we took a picture. Too cute.

After we oohed and ahhed at our perfect little creation, the doc pulled out the Doppler so we could try to find the heartbeat. She warned me ahead of time that sometimes it’s hard to find at this point, since the baby is hidden right underneath the pubic bone, but she would try anyway. If I hadn’t just seen the baby on the ultrasound, I would have been very nervous at this point, because it took her a few pokes to find the baby and that little heartbeat. But alas, amidst the whooshing sound we began to hear two heartbeats emerge. Mine (nice and slow and steady), and, quieter, but definitely audible, the little baby’s doing doubletime. 150 bpm. In a word, perfect.

I felt like I floated right out the door when we left the appointment. My fear of something going wrong is slowly melting away to reveal the most awesome sense of love and responsibility for this little person inside of me. 1 1/2 weeks until I really, truly believe we’re going to have a baby.

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24 responses to “She Says… A Little Peek Inside

  1. Yay for liking your OB! Do you think you’ll “really, truly believe” in another week and a half? I’m not sure if i ever will truly believe it. Maybe when the kid turns 5 years old I’ll truly become a believer. Haha.

    PS I’m totally jealous you’ve had 2 ultrasounds; waiting until 20 weeks for my first one is going to be torture!

  2. YEAH!! That first image, no matter how tiny it is, is a miracle, isn’t it?

    I am SO happy for you that everything is going well and that you like your OB!!

  3. Hearing the heartbeat is so exciting! And, nothing really tops surprise chances to see the baby in action. I never get sick of hearing the heartbeat. With my daughter, we did not get to hear it until 22 weeks. With this pregnancy, we had to wait until 14 weeks, despite the fact that I was going to the midwife office every week since I was so sick!

    It is great to read that everything is going well. I hope that 1.5 weeks from now, you will get a big energy surge, less nausea, and even more piece of mind!

  4. Oh, that post made me cry…two heartbeats. That really hits home for me. As I read the post I was in knots but at the happy ending, I let out a huge sigh of relief and happiness for you both.

  5. That’s so exciting! I’m right there with you about feeling nervous. I think everyone is. We’ve had so many friends go through miscarriages, I didn’t even tell my family that we were pregnant until I was out of the first trimester! I feel like I didn’t start to “bond” until then, either! I get so excited to read your updates. It’s getting more fun, isn’t it??? Thinking of you!!

  6. that’s awesome news! Congrats!

  7. Isn’t seeing your baby the most amazing thing on earth! I’m so glad that everything is going well. You’re so close to 12 weeks!

  8. Aw, you lucky duck – an unexpected u/s!! So glad you like your new OB, I know what you mean about slow-talkers being a NYC-born and bred girl until I moved to Boston 4 years ago. But a zen OB would be just what us Type A girls need!

  9. Awesome! I’m so glad everything looks perfect and you are so close to that 12 week mark! That’s got to feel great :-). I can’t wait to read when you get into the 2nd trimester, all the fun stuff starts and you feel like you can really start planning for baby!

    Thank you so much for your supportive comments this week, they have really helped ease my mind. I appreciate it so much.

  10. You have such a good way of telling your sweet stories. Your baby is already so loves and it just eminates from your page!

  11. I started crying reading this. Hearing that whoosh is so nice, isn’t it? The first time I saw Lucy was at 10 weeks and she was a little baby in there. Your doctor sounds fab. Calming IS good.

  12. Very happy for you! 🙂

  13. Wow what an amazing morning for you both. I am so happy you got to see your baby AND hear the heartbeat! SO much more real for you now I hope! Get rid of all those doubts!

  14. christy, Ha! Good point. I think I will. I think I will allow myself to buy things, and plan the nursery, and really picture our house with a baby in it. I’ve been doing it sort of half-heartedly until now, trying not to put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. But we’re so, so close. I’m sure there will be other things to worry about at that point, but I will definitely feel relief for a little while.

    thebakerbee, Totally. I still can’t believe it looked just like a little baby. With a fat little tummy and tiny little hands. Totally, totally amazing.

    perrack, Thank you! Me too 🙂 I don’t know how you made it until 14 weeks. That must have been SO hard not to worry. I guess I’m lucky, in a sense, that I got all of those early tests and check-ups due to my struggle with infertility. Something good came out of it after all!

    Aly, Thank you! That is sweet. I sure did too. Man, what a sweet sound.

    Lauren, How did you wait that long! You must be a better liar than I am 🙂 I know, the nervousness is so strange, it does make me feel like I haven’t really “bonded” yet, because it’s hard to believe there’s really anything in there to bond with. This ultrasound totally helped me really realize there is a human in there, but it’s still such a strange concept. I think you’re right, that after 12 weeks my whole perspective will change.

    Jen and Esperanza, Thank you!

    Lara, Ha, yes! Zen = good for me. I know, I was so surprised when she said she wanted to do an ultrasound. Like Christmas morning!

    Al, It DOES feel good. You will get there, soon enough. I know how hard it is not to worry when things are so new, and especially when we’ve seen so many others in the blogworld (and some in the real world) go through miscarriages and other horrors. But, as I said before, just remember, the vast majority of women have perfectly normal, healthy pregnancies and perfectly normal, healthy babies. There’s no reason that trouble getting pregnant has to mean trouble while pregnant. ENJOY 🙂

    slowmiles, Thank you! What a wonderful compliment. I have no doubt that Piccolini will know he/she is loved, with or without the blog. But it is pretty cool to think that he/she will always be able to go back and read this, the WHOLE story.

    Chelsea, Yup, it was just just like in the movies… only WAY better. P.S., I love the name Luzy! How sweet!

    Grace and jennyh, Thank you! Yes, it was a wonderful day.

  15. I just discovered your blog and then proceeded to spend the morning catching up on the whole story. If you could send me the billing code for that, that’d be great 😉 Anyway, congratulations! Your blog is so sweet and I’ve enjoyed reading it. Looks like we’re neighbors too, I also live in Somerville!

  16. awww Kate so happy for you!!! That’s amazing!!!

  17. Pregnant twin that is great news! We had our blind date yesterday and she passed as well!!
    I’m so happy for you and Benjamin!

  18. That’s amazingly awesome you got an unexpected peek inside. Counting down your 1.5 weeks til 2nd TRIMESTER!!!

  19. I continue to love reading your story. I am so happy for your growing family – you are going to be amazing parents!!

  20. romancingthestone

    I love reading every word of your blog. We are two weeks behind you in terms of pregnancy. Hugs to both of you from your friends in Boston. Shell http://romancingthestone.wordpress.com

  21. Sounds like a perfect visit. Yea for you & your little one!

  22. Lauren, Hi! Thanks for reading. Believe me, if I had a billing code for WRITING this thing at work, I’d be much better off 🙂

    Zuly, Thank you!

    Courtney F, Yay, I’m so glad for you and Clint too. Exciting stuff!

    suchagoodegg, Thanks, lady. And you hang in there.

    Sarah, Thank you, I certainly hope so!

    romancingthestone, YAY it’s official. Shell, I am SO SO SO happy for you guys. You did it! Now… ENJOY.

    Genevieve, It was! Thank you so much!

  23. this is so exciting!!! so glad all is going well.

  24. Congrats!! I am sure the time is starting to fly by for you. In a few more weeks you can breath another sigh of relief. Best of luck to you!

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