She Says… Ewwww

Want to know something that is uncomfortable, demoralizing and generally a frustrating pain in the arse? Bathing suit shopping when you are in the “fat but not yet pregnant” stage.

I know our Jamaica trip will include at least a day or two of sitting on the beach, and I’m going to need some sort of stretchy, waterproof getup to cover myself. In the past, that would have been a bikini. Now, with my rapidly expanding waistline and pale, hairy stomach, that ain’t happenin’! So what’s a kind of pregnant girl to do?

I headed to Target in order to avoid the post-Christmas mall craziness. I tried on EVERY tankini and one-piece in the store, and tore each of them off of me almost as quickly as they were on. The legs were too tight, or the tank top was too long and baggy, or the boobs didn’t fit… I even hit up the maternity section (which, surprisingly, had some of the cutest options!), but they all bagged unflatteringly around the midsection and hung down past my crotch so it looked like I didn’t have bathing suit bottoms on. Now, I’m used to challenging shopping experiences (I’m barely 5’2″ and have always had a teeny tiny top half and disproportionately larger bottom half, though over the last two years since I’ve been losing weight, I have started to fit into normal sizes), but this was ridiculous! N-O-T-H-I-N-G fit. And we leave on Wednesday for our lovely island vacay.

I left Target without a suit and with some more goldfish crackers and popcorn cakes to munch on since I was getting hangry (hungry + angry) and headed over to Old Navy. Almost all of the bikinis in my closet are from Old Navy, so I thought I would have more luck there. But apparently they don’t think it’s bathing suit season yet.  Can you blame them? There’s SNOW on the ground! So I drove BACK to Target and bought the least hideous of the ones I had tried on.

Ugh. Gross. I plan to spend my Jamaica trip in sundresses instead. Hey, I have to stay out of the sun anyway, so why not keep the pasty stomach covered up? Note to others: AVOID bathing suit shopping until you have a cute little baby bump to fill out the maternity suits!


13 responses to “She Says… Ewwww

  1. 😦 but, hey, you are going to Jamaica, so that’s exciting!

  2. Have you looked online at Land’s End? I have a weird body type too, and I took my measurements per Land’s End instructions. I got a suit that fit perfectly! I highly recommend it since you can get different sizes in the top and bottom. Good tummy control too 🙂

  3. I hated that horrible “no man’s land” of not fitting into my clothing and not showing. I actually started wearing maternity jeans at 10wks just because my low-rise jeans were so uncomfortable. (Totally recommend Liz Lange maternity jeans at Target by the way).

    It feels like that “fat or pregnant?” stage lasts forever, so hang in there! Enjoy Jamacia, hairy stomach and all 🙂

  4. You just made me really glad that I won’t need to buy a bathing suit until I am about 6 months preggo! Have fun in Jamaica!

    Oh… and alternative to sundresses… what about board shorts and a tank top? Maybe even a sports bra tank top of some kind. At least you could go swimming in that!

  5. Are you really already showing a little? My goodness! I’m at 15 weeks and waiting for my baby bump to pop. I’m definitely much “thicker” now, but that didn’t start until about 12 weeks. You’re definitely going to pop early if you’re already seeing it now! Congrats! And have fun in Jamaica!

  6. Old Navy has swimsuits online! I shopped there before we left for puerto Rico last week.

    The in-between of regular and maternity clothes is so frustrating!

  7. Oh god. I hate bathing suit shopping at the best of times. When you find just the right suit that does all sorts of lovely things to your figure it’s wonderful, but you have to try on 50 hideously unflattering pairs first, in front of a full length mirror with unflattering lighting. Nightmare-worthy.

  8. you’re going to Jamaica and you’re pregnant? Sheesh! You’ve got lots to be happy about girl!! 🙂 Don’t let a bathing suit shopping trip get you down!! Have fun!!!

  9. Kate, dear, we are in the awkward stage right now of people seeing us and thinking, “is she putting on extra holiday weight or is she pregnant?” I want to make a button and wear it all the time!!
    Remember that this is part of our blessing. As uncomfortable as we feel, this will pass and we will have beautiful babies in this world by the end of next summer!
    Have a great trip!

  10. That does sound frustrating! I’m sure you’ll forget all about it when you’re enjoying the beautiful weather and hanging out with your hubby. Have a fantastic trip!

  11. Not to mention the fact that those flourescent lights that they have in dressing rooms make your skin disappear and your blemishes pop. Ick. I’d go with the sundress, but trust me I am sure the bathing suit doesn’t look as bad as you think!!

  12. Haha, I love this: hangry (hungry + angry).

    Bathing suit shopping is tough any other time, so I can imagine being in that in-between would make it even more frustrating… Hope you have fun on your trip and get in some great relax time!!

  13. My friend sent me your blog and I am addicted to your story! First off, congrats on FINALLY getting pregnant! I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy. I read this blog and smiled to myself. My husband and I are planning a trip to Jamaica in the spring and plan to go off birth control pills on our trip. I know you will have a blast regardless of what you are wearing!

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