He Says… Is this happening?

So for the first 5 or 6 days since we found out we were pregnant I was on cloud 9.  I couldn’t believe we did it, and I was so excited to share our news with our friends and family.  Then I got back into a busy work schedule, was gone for the last 5 days, and am working long hours all this week, then away all next week.  All this busy-ness and travel has made me have to redirect my focus back to non-baby things, and I sort of feel bad about that.  Plus there is nothing to indicate that Kate is pregnant just from looking at her.  No bump.  No change.  She seems the same as a month ago, so it’s sort of hard for me to really believe and concentrate on the fact that we are pregnant.  I think I was sort of hoping to have the high I was feeling after we found out last until the due date.  But again, reality has set in and it’s back to the tasks that are in front of me now.

Not that I really would like to change the way babies are made, but I do think that guys miss out on quite a bit of the process.  While her symptoms are mild right now, Kate is getting to experience some changes in her body and how she feels.  But to me she looks and acts the same so it’s hard to tell if anything is really going on.  I assume that in a couple months once she starts to show, and hopefully even sooner (once we go for our first ultrasound), there will be more of a sense of definitiveness for me.

I can’t tell if I should feel guilty that 100% of my brain is not focused on the little piccolini right now.  I wish I could be around more for this first stage of things to try to glimpse whatever it is that is changing.  While I was gone last week I watched our video every night before bed just as a little reminder.  (I have filmed lots and lots of things in my career, but I have to say, I think it’s the most powerful thing I have ever shot.)  Anyways, I am so glad I had that just to bring my mind back to what should be the most important thing on my mind.

Sorry that this seems like sort of a ramble.  I think that I am overly tired from work, and would like a day off to spend the day with my pregnant honey.

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5 responses to “He Says… Is this happening?

  1. I’m 17 weeks and still not showing at all really. Its hard to convince myself that I am with nothing to “show” yet

  2. Don’t feel guilty!! That’s completely normal for both of you, although you’re right that Kate will have an easier time focusing on it since it’s going on in her body. Things usually get a little boring for a while, especially if Kate is not sick (hallelujah)

    Things will get exciting again when you start to see her belly getting a little round, and then she will feel the first little flutters of life in there, and then one day you’ll be able to feel it on the outside to, and that will really help to make everything real for you!

    Just remember that life goes on outside of the womb and that’s ok, 9 mo’s is a long time, enjoy the pregnancy, you only get 1 first, but truly the good part is after that baby is born 🙂

  3. Definitely don’t feel bad. I don’t think it *really* sunk in for my husband until we found out the sex at our 20 week ultrasound (mind you, that was our third u/s!) I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy–no real morning sickness or anything–so other than the fact that I couldn’t have a beer with him, and that he had to deal with the cat litter all by himself (score!) there was’t much to remind him, until recently. And I really didn’t start showing until around 20 weeks, either. There was one day he came home after working nights and not seeing me for a few days, took one look at me and said, “Wow. You really ARE pregnant!”

    Of course now, he can feel the baby kick, and watch my stomach move, and I definitely take up a lot more space than I used to… So just wait, it will seem more real soon enough! 🙂 Congratulations!

  4. Like Sue and Amy said… you have nothing to feel guilty about. I actually feel a little guilty sometimes that my Hubby doesn’t get to experience the same feeling and changes that I do. He comes to every doctor’s appointment, which helps make him feel more involved. I am 13 weeks and we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time Friday, which made Hubby really excited. He spends a lot of time with his hand on my belly, and has from the very beginning… which I absolutely love. And, I try to share with him everything that I feel (emotionally and physically) so that he can feel a little closer to the whole process!

  5. as the “husband”, I think I’m going through a lot of the same. Especially when she doesn’t feel good – it’s hard not to be able to take some of the burden. I’ve compensated by letting her know that it isn’t complaining to let me know how she feels/changes in detail. I think it’s something many folks just don’t do – why would you want to hear about her gurgling, for instance? But it has definitely made it more real for me. Also, I’m spending time rubbing a creamy oil in every night which gives us some dedicated time as a couple where the babe and she are the focus. Hope you find balance!

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