A few weeks ago I came across this article written by a woman who had a miscarriage, but was so happy that she had told people she was pregnant and received support and love from them after her loss. People always say, “I shouldn’t be telling people I’m pregnant, it’s so early” or “Please don’t tell anyone, I’m not very far along”. I had two friends share their pregnancy with me very early on (one at only 5 weeks). They felt strongly that anyone they were sharing the news with was close enough to them to hear if they miscarried, so there was no harm in telling them. Although I’ve never been in that position myself, I can imagine I would feel the same way. One shouldn’t be afraid to share the incredible news, as long as they are comfortable sharing the news if complications come up as well.
Why, then, does it feel different to share the “We’re trying, but we’re having difficulty” news? Friends often ask me (jokingly) “Are you pregnant yet?”. It used to make me laugh — before we started trying. Now it just makes me feel sort of… defeated. And a little uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just because I’m a perfectionist and it’s hard to admit that we are, in fact, having difficulty. Or maybe it’s that no one wants to think about their friend/daughter/sister “trying”.
On the other hand, I recently shared the “we’re trying” news with a close friend, and it. felt. so. good. As of yet, the hubs and I haven’t shared this blog with any of our friends, even the few who know we are trying. In some ways, it feels nice to post things here and share them with the world without feeling like I’m baring my soul (and my medical records) to my friends who I see and talk to regularly. But, the more I think about it, why wouldn’t I want to bare my soul to those people? They are my friends, and they might be able to offer me some comfort and support instead of not knowing what’s going on.
So maybe I’ll start telling people about the blog… tomorrow?