I am not sure when in my life it started, or why, but I have evolved to become a major worrier about certain things. Ok, most things.
– A few months ago, when the economy seemed to hover at its lowest point, I had visions that we would be broke because I would have ZERO work this year, and I would have to work at Starbucks to pay the bills. That hasn’t happened.
– About three and a half years ago, I was terrified of bird flu. Like, really scared. Kate and I got married in June of 2006, and during the previous winter I remember worrying that everybody I knew would have died from bird flu by the time we got to our wedding. That obviously didn’t happen, either.
And now we are on to Swine Flu (although we aren’t supposed to call it that anymore — H1N1, excuse me) and I am already beginning to feel the anxiety I had over bird flu three years ago. And it sucks. Kate is certainly a more practical and logical person about these things than I am, and she helps to bring me down to earth when I’m worrying unnecessarily about things I can’t control. I am a smart, rational person and I understand how the news media likes to blow things out of proportion… but still, I worry.
As Kate and I are now “officially” trying to have a baby, I am already worrying about how much I will worry about that. And once he/she is born? Forget about it. I can only imagine that the things I worry about now will be hugely multiplied once we have a baby to take care of. Am I destined to become a complete basket case?
Contrary to what you may think after reading this post, I am actually a sane, normal functioning person. I realize what I am writing makes me sound like a complete neurotic mess, but rest assured, I’m actually not. However, I do think I will need to somehow manage my fears of things that are out of my control as we bring another person into our family.
Okay. That is it. I am going to go crawl into my homemade fallout shelter now…