She Says… Belly Envy

Now that we are officially “trying” to get preggers, it seems everywhere I look I see pregnant women, and every conversation I have involves babies! Maybe it’s just that I’ve become more aware, or maybe it’s because all of a sudden everyone I know is hitting that “it’s just about time to have a baby” stage of their lives. Several of my close friends have had babies within the last year or so, and it never takes long for people to ask the hubster and I when we’re going to join the party.

It’s a funny thing, though, because although you want to share the news that you’re moving into a new stage of your life,  you don’t necessarily want everyone to know you are “trying”. Especially not those friends who got pregnant the first time they tried, or didn’t even have to try at all. Even though it is fairly irrational (as no one would blame you for having to “try”), it does feel like some sort of failure not to get pregnant immediately. Especially for a slightly neurotic perfectionist like myself. I mean, if we are put here on this earth to reproduce, then what does that mean for women who can’t get pregnant? Are they evolutionarily useless?

Now don’t worry, I’m not putting myself in that category just yet. I fully realize that I’ve only been off birth control for a little over a month, which obviously has given us only one chance to make a baby so far. If that. Since I haven’t gotten my period yet at all, it’s very likely that my body hasn’t even started ovulating again since going off the pill. So, in reality, I haven’t failed; I just haven’t been given the chance to try! Also, I know that it takes women my age an average of 6 months to get pregnant, not to mention the fact that I have only a 15% chance of getting pregnant each month! When you look at the math, it’s amazing babies are ever conceived.


5 responses to “She Says… Belly Envy

  1. That is so true! I went downtown the other day and was walking around noticing all of the pregnant people when normally I wouldn’t have looked at them twice. I wanted to walk up to them and ask them how they did it (well, you know what I mean) and all of the details about their pregnancy. On some level I think I believe that by talking to them about it it will become a reality for me too. Crazy, I know.

  2. Just stumbled upon this and wanted to say that I am one of those people that has not had to “try ” to get pregnant, and I definitely do not look down on my friends who do, it’s almost the opposite, I feel guilty for not having to try when so many people I know desperately want it and it’s just not happening…anyway, so I feel for you, and I want you to know that I personally do not believe that we are only here to reproduce,everyone has a unique purpose here that may or may not include children, either way it doesn’t make you more or less worthy.

    I hope you get your BFP soon!!

  3. Amy, thank you so much! It is so nice to hear your perspective. And congrats on being one who didn’t have to try 🙂 I agree that we’re all here for a bigger purpose than just to reproduce… it’s easy to get very single-minded about this process sometimes.

    Tabitha, Yes! A close friend of mine just shared with me that she’s pregnant, and I couldn’t help but ask all the gory details (How long were you off birth control? How many months were you trying? When did it happen? How long until you found out? Etc. etc.).

    Unfortunately (and obviously!) it’s so different for everyone that her answers don’t help me much, but I still make a little mental note of her experience (which was that she didn’t have to “try” — of course!).

  4. Kate congratulations on finally becoming preg. I wanted to ask, did u have irregular or missed period in the past as well? My husband n i just started trying and that very cycle i skipped my period…i have never had skipped or irregular period in my past.

  5. @Tanya, Thank you! Prior to going off birth control, I had never missed a period (or a birth control pill). I was perfectly regular until going off the pill, when I stopped having a period all together. I have read that it is not abnormal for regularly cycling women to miss a period once in a while, so I would not worry.

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