She Says… The “D” Word

It’s been a week, friends. And I don’t mean that in a good way. And, coming off of last week, I was really in need of an easy, catch-up week.

I haven’t written much this week, because, well, my Mama taught me that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I’ve been so focused on just doing what I need to do to make it to the next day that I’ve barely had time to look up. I recently got a promotion at work, so in addition to my already very busy days, I am also now leading a team of new people. I’m navigating new responsibilities without being able to give up the old ones, and it’s been exhausting. A great opportunity, to be sure, but exhausting. On top of that, the marathon bombing craziness threw off my schedule and eliminated a few days of work due to building closings and lockdowns and a general lack of focus on anything but breaking news. I counted on this week to catch up and get myself back in order. But instead, Owen got sent home from school with a fever on Wednesday along with a note that said that several kids in his class have Hand, Foot & Mouth Syndrome, so to be on the lookout for that. LOVELY. Of course, as usual, this came on a day when I HAD to be at the office running a training program and delivering a 3 hour training presentation to a packed room. Stressful, to say the least. Not to mention that this all came on the heels of a period of Benjamin traveling more than he has been home, so I’ve been feeling… overwhelmed.

That would normally be enough to stress a person out out. Even a person whose stress threshold is usually quite high. But no, the last piece of complicating news came yesterday, right in the middle of my 3 hour presentation.

I have gestational diabetes.

Remember when I failed the gestational diabetes screening test a few weeks ago, and then had a weird hypoglycemic response to the 3 hour? Well, since I am at high risk for gestational diabetes due to having polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), my doctor/midwife team wanted me to be tested twice. Once early (which I did around 23 weeks), and once at the “normal” time of 28 weeks, which is where I am now. They didn’t want to put me through the stress of doing the 3 hour test again since my body kind of freaked out the last time, so we opted to do a two hour test instead.

I took it Wednesday morning (trapped in the lab waiting room with spotty internet for 2 hours, feeling pukey, while I wanted/needed to be catching up on work…) and the results came back yesterday. High.

Given my weird history with this test and erratic blood sugar levels in general, they are classifying me as having glucose instability and treating me for GDM. That means finger pricks to check blood glucose levels before and after eating, following a strict diet and exercise routine, regularly seeing an endocrinologist and nutritionist until this baby makes his arrival, and increased monitoring of him prior to that point.

So… I’m here. But I don’t have anything nice to say, so I’m not saying much at all.

The silver lining? Owen’s fever stayed really low and hasn’t seemed to turn into Hand, Foot & Mouth or anything worse than a slightly elevated temp. He’s back at school this morning and my fingers are crossed that he stays there, healthy and happy, until the end of the day.

She Says… Balls on the Floor

On Wednesday I read a blog post that literally took the words right out of my mouth. Kelle Hampton wrote about enjoying those crazy weeks/months/years when you can’t keep all of your balls in the air. (Yes. I fully realize how inappropriate that sounds.).

I’m in the midst of one of those weeks where there are too many balls in the air and not enough hands to juggle them. But you know what? We’re getting through. And, hopefully, enjoying it. And, if I do say so myself, the important ones are staying up.

Blogging? Not so much. Eh.

I’m in New York for work. While this means I’m away from my guys and behind on my emails and feeling a little overwhelmed by what I have to accomplish while I’m here, it also means I had a lovely (quiet!) train ride here where no one asked me to do anything for them, and I actually spent a few minutes just staring out the window. I’m eating really good food that I don’t have to cook. I slept 9 hours in my hotel room last night (and only woke ONCE to a phantom baby crying… usually that happens several more times). Everything is humming along smoothly at home without me.

Find the places to enjoy, friends. They are there. Even when things are crazy.

So… excuse the blogging hiatus. It is, unfortunately, one of the balls getting dropped this week. In the grand scheme of things, I think that means we’re still doing ok.

 

 

She Says… Kid-Centric

A few commenters honed in on one particular sentence in yesterday’s post. To be honest, when I wrote it, it was much more of a fluffy lead-in to the meat of the post (about swingsets), than a statement about a parenting philosophy I have. I barely gave it a second thought when I wrote it.

What I said: “Gone are the days of spending my days running errands or getting ‘my’ stuff done while simultaneously hanging out with Owen.”

What I meant: “I like doing fun, active, outdoor activities with my kid whenever I can.”

That said, perhaps because not spoiling Owen is in the top 5 things I worry about as a parent, the comments about being a “suck it up” parent or NOT a “suck it up” parent (read: creating a spoiled brat) really made me think. First of all, I resist putting names on parenting decisions and I find it hard to believe that parents fall into one camp all of time (this is one of my issues with the Bringing Up Bebe book as well, the labeling and the over-generalizations). I would consider myself very much a “suck it up” parent in some respects (like in last week’s unavoidable time crunch), and  very child-centric in others. It makes me uncomfortable to slap a label on myself or others, especially as I’m learning every day that parenting is a very fluid process. None of us know exactly what we are doing and we are entitled to change our minds!

Of course the balance of playtime versus “getting things done” time is a very personal one. And it changes every minute and every day depending on your needs and your schedule and your To Do list and your kid’s mood. BUT, in general, I subscribe to the theories that:

1. Play = Learning
Kids learn through play. At all ages, I believe, but especially as toddlers. For Owen, physical play engages him and allows him to learn, explore the world around him, try new motor skills and learn new words. While he is in daycare 4 days a week his play is quite structured and he learns to listen, follow directions and abide by rules. At home, although we stick to a pretty strict schedule of meals and naps and a pretty regular routine of activities (and of course there are rules!), I like to give him a chance to choose what he does and when he does it. More free play. More time when he gets to decide what he wants to do.

Does that mean I forego my own To Do list so that he can play outside all day? Nope. Does it mean that I never force him to do things he doesn’t want to do? No way. It means that I do what I can to respect his playtime and, thus, his learning.

2. Tired Kid = Happy Kid
Well, not tired, exactly, but mentally and physically exercised (and subsequently well-rested!). 

3. Compromise Should Be Mutual
I expect Owen to compromise his wants and needs for me. If I say it’s bedtime, even if he’d like to stay up and play, it’s still bedtime. However, it’s important to me that he knows that I compromise for him too. Do I really NEED to go to the bank right now, which will result in waiting in line for a long time? Maybe not. Can I squeeze in a quick stop at the playground on the way home, even if it will make me a little late, to accommodate his need for some activity after running an errand with me? Sure! Thanks to online banking, Amazon.com and taking advantage of things I can do after he goes to bed or on the days I work during the week, most of our necessary errands can be done without him in tow. Believe me — that’s a blessing for both of us! And it leaves a lot more time for us to just be together and go where the day takes us. Similar to the idea of giving him choices whenever possible, I try to plan our days in a way that meets both of our needs.

At the end of the day, what we’re doing works for our family. Owen is a sweet, kind, hilarious, good-natured toddler whose tantrums and outbursts are few and far between. Only time will tell if too much time at the playground has ruined him As I’ve said before, if spending too much time with him and planning my days in a kid-centric way are my biggest parenting flaw, I think I can live with that.

She Says… What Constitutes a Vacation These Days

Right now I am sitting on the train somewhere between Boston and New York. I’m going to New York to oversee a training event I’ve coordinated for my company. It was one of those everything-that-could-go-wrong-did situations. Instructors cancelled, times were switched at the last minute, attendees didn’t show up on time, files had typos, people are leaving early for the holiday weekend despite knowing about this event for months. And on and on. I organize these sessions all the time, and they almost always go off without a hitch. Not so, this time.

I feel frazzled. And unprepared. And worn down. And like all of the balls I’ve been juggling for the last few weeks (months, now?) while Benjamin has been traveling and working like crazy are about to come toppling down on my head.

Benjamin and I had our first “oh my goodness, we both have to travel and what are we going to do about OWEN?!” moments this week. It all got sorted out, thanks to a sweet friend who is going to hang out with Owen for the short period of time that Benjamin’s and my work plans overlapped, but oy. If that doesn’t make you feel the strain of being 2 working parents, I don’t know what does.

But back to me. And my vacay. Oh, it doesn’t sound like I’m on vacation? Well, this is what constitutes a vacation these days, folks. With Benjamin traveling so much recently and me holding down the fort, I’ve barely had a chance to leave the house between work and taking care of Owen. I haven’t had a chance to see friends or go to yoga or do something fun for me. So this morning I rushed around like a madwoman getting Owen to daycare and then booked it to the train station.

Sitting on a train with a coffee in my hand? Apparently that’s a vacay now. Despite the fact that I am clickety clacking away at my keyboard relentlessly for most of the ride, I’ll take it. I’m sitting. Quietly. Dressed in a cute skirt and heels. I’ve put out most of the fires and I’ll deal with the rest when I get to New York. I even got myself an Us Weekly to catch up on my celeb gossip between emails.

It’s the little things.