She Says… Where am I, Mexico?

Is it just me or have a lot of crazy things happened since I’ve been pregnant? Ok, maybe not a lot. But the crazy Boston flood of 2010 and the Munich travel drama were definitely hurdles to overcome, as is the current BOIL WATER ORDER that has been announced for the Boston area.

Apparently sometime yesterday there was a water main break in a nearby town, and every city water system east of them (including Boston and many other Eastern Massachusetts cities and towns) had to shift to use water reserves. These water reserves are not fit to drink. From what I’ve read, they are ok for bathing (which is sort of disgusting, if you consider that they’re not fit to drink!), but not cooking, brushing teeth, washing dishes or clothes, or for pets to ingest. Unfortunately for me, Benjamin is working all weekend with our one car, so I am stranded, unable to go to the grocery store to stock up on gallons of bottled water. Even the grocery stores are beginning to ration water in our area… I feel like I’m in some disaster area!

Chances are that even the tap water won’t really hurt us. I don’t even think they’ve confirmed any crazy contaminants in the water, I think it’s just a precaution since we had to switch water sources. My instincts say that the media usually blows these things out of proportion anyway. However, with a baby on board, I’m not taking any chances.

So what’s a thirsty, dirty pregnant lady to do? BOIL! Just like the old days (although no “old days” I’ve ever experienced), I set to boil pots and pots of water this morning. I filled every pitcher, vase and water bottle in our house with boiled water, and our poor fridge is working overtime to cool everything down. I never realized JUST how many times I turn on that faucet in a day. Everything I do requires water!

Another day, another adventure, I guess

He Says… It’s a…

Sorry for the delay.  We were running around all day with errands and appointments and I wanted to do something “extra” for our announcement.  Enjoy!

He Says…Social Awkwardness

Okay, so here is what happened:

Last night was Kate’s company’s holiday party.  It is a fancy affair that they hold at the Four Seasons with a charity auction and food and drinks and dancing.  For a work event it is generally a good time.  We got decked out.  I wore a suit, and Kate wore a very pretty dress that she bought in the spring and wore to a few weddings this year.  Now Kate has only told one person at work that she is pregnant (her boss, who works in Toronto) and she didn’t feel the need to bring it up quite yet with her coworkers.  We went to the bar to get drinks; I got wine and Kate asked for a cranberry and tonic (what I am now calling “The Cover-up Cocktail”).  Again, since I think everybody is thinking about the possibility of our pregnancy (read here), I wanted Kate to have a cocktail-looking drink.

Within a minute or two of having our drinks one of her coworkers commented that her drink looked fancy and asked what she was having.  Kate, who apparently would make the worst liar in the world, said “cranberry and tonic”.  No gin.  No vodka.  So much for “The Cover-up Cocktail”.  But that was the end of that conversation and we went on with the party.  About twenty minutes later we were standing with this coworker and her boyfriend when she whispered to Kate “Are you pregnant?”.  Obviously at this point lying would have seemed silly, and Kate said “yes”.  The coworker and her boyfriend quietly congratulated us, and then…

And then…

And then the coworker said, “I totally knew it”, while grabbing Kate’s arm and said “I could just tell.  You’ve put on a little baby weight.”

WHAT?  EXCUSE ME!

Now I am a guy, but I know that it is a cardinal rule, especially among girls to never comment on another woman’s weight even during pregnancy, and especially after we told her we were only 6 weeks along.

Kate, who lets most things rub off her pretty easily just laughed and smiled.  The coworker’s boyfriend and I stood there somewhat stunned.  The coworker went on to say “And I could tell by your dress.  This wasn’t a Kate-going-out-dress.  This was a hide-your-stomach dress.”

Again, WHAT?

Kate bought this dress in the spring with no intention of it being a maternity dress and frankly I think it’s stunning.  And for the record, I am not sure I have noticed any real difference in Kate’s body at this point, despite the fact that she says she has gained a little weight around her stomach (like A LITTLE).

The entire conversation was just remarkable.  I excused myself to the bar just to get out of there and a little later I was talking to the coworker’s boyfriend who was flabbergasted that she said that.  Kate really laughed off the situation but I think she had a good excuse to smack the girl, even though she was being more idiotic than hurtful.

So that’s my story.  The end.

He Says…Telling the Family

First off, I will just say that the last 5 days have been a whirlwind of emotions.  Can I make the excuse that Kate’s pregnancy has made ME more of a crier this week?  Probably not (since those who know me know I am already quite emotional).  But we have both been shocked by the amount of response our little blog and video has gotten online and every one of the comments has brought us to tears.  Thank you all for sharing this experience with us.

The timing could not have been more perfect for telling our family about our news.  I don’t know why Kate and I felt that the moment of telling people needed to be so orchestrated, but I felt like we were planning a surprise party coming up with how to share the news.  On Thursday we were hosting Thanksgiving for one set of my parents (my parents are divorced) and relatives on that side (9 of us total).  Kate spent all day Wednesday and Thursday, in between tears of joy, cooking an amazing Thanksgiving dinner that she had been planning for weeks.  I liked having the home turf advantage for planning our big surprise.  I came up with all sorts of ideas including Kate taking 9 pregnancy tests and us wrapping them in the napkins at the table.  Kate thought a pee-covered stick next to the dinner plate was not quite as classy (or hygenic) as we had anticipated.  We opted to just tell them all at dinner while everyone was together and paying attention.  Because I felt that people would be anticipating our announcement if any signs pointed in that direction, I made a point to make Kate a [virgin] cocktail and have it known she was “drinking”.  (This was probably overkill, I know).  Anyway, dinner came and my aunt had asked me to read a little toast/reading that she had written.  I had a hard time getting through the reading without crying, partly because it was very poignant, but mostly because I knew I was about to make the big announcement.  After the reading, with a shaky hand and a shaky voice, I lifted my glass to thank everyone for coming.  Then Kate jumped in to say that next year we’d need another seat at the Thanksgiving table (which was already very crowded) because we are pregnant.  Everyone shrieked.  My parents cried.  I cried.  Kate cried.  It was a perfect reaction and a perfect night to tell them.

On Friday night we had plans to go out to dinner with my other parents and a few family friends.  One of which was our friend Russell, who was the one who had been staying at our home the morning we got the big news.  Since he already knew the news, I asked Russell to make a toast at dinner so that I could jump in.  I made sure Kate ordered a glass of wine at dinner just to be covert (again, I don’t know why I felt the need for all these dramatic lead-ups).  Russell made a touching toast at dinner but he didn’t get more than a few words out before he started to cry, so I jumped in and announced that they were going to be grandparents.  My parents yelled (a good yell) and I believe a glass was even spilled on the table!  Hugs and tears followed. Of course.

So it’s been a great few days of telling people our big news.  I am so glad I got out of bed last Wednesday to film that video as I’ve enjoyed sending it to some friends in a cryptic message to share the news with them.  And while Kate and I know that it is customary to wait a while to tell people, and we are not telling everyone now (we are asking people not to put anything on Facebook about it yet), I think we are pretty open about most things (hence the blog!) so we are not really following the old “wait until 12 weeks” rule.

So thank you all again for reading and supporting us and sharing these special moments with us.

She Says… It’s My Turn

I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to write this post. And now that I finally can? There are no words.

She Says… Why Hide the News?

A few weeks ago I came across this article written by a woman who had a miscarriage, but was so happy that she had told people she was pregnant and received support and love from them after her loss. People always say, “I shouldn’t be telling people I’m pregnant, it’s so early” or “Please don’t tell anyone, I’m not very far along”. I had two friends share their pregnancy with me very early on (one at only 5 weeks). They felt strongly that anyone they were sharing the news with was close enough to them to hear if they miscarried, so there was no harm in telling them. Although I’ve never been in that position myself, I can imagine I would feel the same way. One shouldn’t be afraid to share the incredible news, as long as they are comfortable sharing the news if complications come up as well.

Why, then, does it feel different to share the “We’re trying, but we’re having difficulty” news? Friends often ask me (jokingly) “Are you pregnant yet?”. It used to make me laugh — before we started trying. Now it just makes me feel sort of… defeated. And a little uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just because I’m a perfectionist and it’s hard to admit that we are, in fact, having difficulty. Or maybe it’s that no one wants to think about their friend/daughter/sister “trying”.

On the other hand, I recently shared the “we’re trying” news with a close friend, and it. felt. so. good. As of yet, the hubs and I haven’t shared this blog with any of our friends, even the few who know we are trying. In some ways, it feels nice to post things here and share them with the world without feeling like I’m baring my soul (and my medical records) to my friends who I see and talk to regularly. But, the more I think about it, why wouldn’t I want to bare my soul to those people? They are my friends, and they might be able to offer me some comfort and support instead of not knowing what’s going on.

So maybe I’ll start telling people about the blog… tomorrow?

She Says… To be or not to be… surprised!

I have been looking forward to telling friends and family that I am pregnant almost as much as finding out myself. For years, as I’ve heard others pop the exciting news, I have fantasized about how I will share my little surprise. It gets me all giddy inside to think that, at least for a little while, I will be the only one who knows. I will even know before the hubs! I can’t imagine I’m going to be able to keep the news in for very long, though, once that time comes. People always say you’re “supposed” to wait until a certain number of weeks before sharing the news, in case of a miscarriage or other complication, but I’m just not sure I’m going to be able to wait! Better start thinking of creative ways to share the happy news now…

When you tell someone you’re pregnant, you expect their reaction to be SURPRISED (at least I do). And thrilled, of course. But for some reason I have always wished for complete surprise. Maybe it’s the ubiquitous made-for-tv movie scenes of happy women gushing the news to their parents and everyone crying in excitement. Or maybe it’s the feeling that, despite modern scientific advances, getting pregnant is still something we can’t totally control (except for creepy cloned babies). It’s a surprise whenever it happens.

However, recently I feel like everyone in my life is expecting me to get pregnant. When I don’t order a drink while out to dinner or mention that I don’t feel well, friends immediately joke, “Are you pregnant?”. I’ve been married for 3 years, I just finished a masters degree program, and I’m pretty verbal about how much I want a family someday soon, so I’m not exactly sure why this bothers me… I guess I just want so badly for it to be a surprise when I tell them I actually am.