Moms have a number of different superpowers that seem to bubble up to the surface once they have a baby:
- Mom touch (the gentle hug that makes booboos go away and stops tears)
- Mom eyes-in-the-back-of-her-head (the ones that catch the little munchkins, and husbands, stealing cookies or picking bites out of the food she’s cooking for dinner)
- Mom strength (that can lift a car or run faster than a train to save her baby)
- Mom brain (that may not be able to remember what day it is or if she brushed her hair this morning, but somehow still remembers to pack lunches and find lost mittens and bake cookies for her child’s kindergarten class)
- Mom sense (the ability to know if her baby has a fever with the quick touch of her hand, the feeling that there’s going to be a poopsplosion right before she gets in the car so she waits it out, the feeling of understanding every little pout and sad face)
Over the last few weeks I think I’ve developed a new one: Mom ears. When Owen was teeny tiny, I would leave the monitor on full blast so that I could hear every little creak and breath and finger wiggle. Since he started sleeping through the night a few months ago, I slowly turned the monitor down, night by night, so that I wasn’t waking up every time he stirred. He is very good at putting himself back to sleep if he wakes during the night, so Benjamin and I give him the opportunity to practice this important skill by not going to him when he cries (to a point — if he cries for awhile and the sound of his cry is escalating or sounds different than normal, you better believe we’re in there in a heartbeat).
Once we hit that point of letting him fuss it out at night, there was nothing helpful about me waking up every time he made a noise just to listen to him cry and make sure he settled down. So a week or two ago I did something I had never done before: I turned the monitor OFF. It felt quiet. Too quiet. I felt guilty that I wouldn’t hear him, but Benjamin reminded me that if we’re not going in there anyway, what’s the point of us all not sleeping? And since I did that, something amazing happened. It’s like my ears have tuned into the exact sound of his cry. I can sleep through Benjamin coming home from a work trip and brushing his teeth and climbing into bed, but when Owen is crying, my eyes pop open like someone just smacked me across the face. It’s not that his cry is loud (though his room is right next to ours in a converted attic space), it’s that my body reacts so strongly to the sound of his voice. One night I even woke up and was listening to him fuss when Benjamin woke up too. He said, “What’s wrong?” I said, “Owen’s crying”. And he could barely hear him!
An interesting study was done that showed that men are more likely to be woken up by crickets chirping or a dripping faucet than a baby crying. A baby crying didn’t even make the top ten for men. For women, it’s #1. Dripping faucet is #2, which I really don’t understand. When was the last time you woke up to water dripping? Anyway, I digress.
Certainly there is something biological that accounts for my mom ears! What are your mom superpowers?
I never slept with the monitor and I always hear the baby way before my husband (personally, I think the sound of his own snoring drowns it out!).
My mommy superpower (?) is the ability to grab boogers out of a congested baby’s nose, even though that’s super gross
That study is hilarious–how convenient that they can hear the sound of a cricket but not a baby!
We don’t even have a baby, and my husband who will sleep through ANYTHING…will wake up if the toilet is running, or water is dripping. I don’t even notice.
My pediatrician told me early on not to use the monitor if our rooms are on the same floor. He said, “Anything you need to hear, you’ll hear with your ears. Trust me.” He couldn’t have been more right! We only use the monitor when we’re downstairs & she’s upstairs with the door closed, otherwise it’s as if I hear every noise! It’s crazy.
Billy does not wake up to her crying. It’s so odd to me. How can he stand it? Well I mean he doesn’t hear it but still…
We’ve never used a monitor, and I have always woken up at the tiniest cry or the first “Mom!” My husband can sleep through just about anything, from babies crying to loud yelling (again, usually “Mom!”) to the lights on and crazy commotion going in and out of bedrooms and the bathrooms. I also have the ability to be instantly Wide Awake if it’s a kid crying (when other times I go right back to sleep). And it goes both ways. My now 2-year-old could sleep through the piano being tuned in the next room, but he wakes up at the tiniest creak of my footstep in the hall or my coughing in the night.
@Kara, That is an AWESOME super power. I am not so good with the booger sucker. Wanna come over?
@Julie, That is interesting that you say that your kids wake up when they hear you. I feel like Owen knows when it is ME walking by his door rather than anyone else too! I hear rustles and sometimes a little noise when I get ready for bed, but it doesn’t seem to happen when it’s anyone else outside his door. Amazing!
I’ve been surprised that parenthood embued me with SuperPatience. It’s not that I was particularly known to be impatient before, but it’s actually no effort or thought for me at all to, for example, have the same exact conversation with my little person 5 or 6 times through, back to back. It’s not even that I feel like I’m being patient. I just do it. It’s what she needs at thus stage. Super!
OMG while we’re still using a monitor right now, one of the first few weeks that Cameron was in his own crib in his own room (as opposed to his bassinet in our room), by accident the volume on the monitor got turned down to completely off and his door was closed (because we have a cat) and our door was closed (because the cat seriously drives me insane at night trying to sleep on me and lick my face), then in the middle of the night I SPRUNG out of bed because I heard him crying (through two closed doors while sleeping) and ran to his room without even putting on my glasses! (P.S. I am BLIND as a bat without them, like seriously). Hubs didn’t hear a thing until I jolted out of bed. My first thought was “How long was he crying?!” But I bet I woke up right away because it felt like a physical reaction! Now that he’s sleeping better and he is putting himself back to sleep sometimes through the night, I think I’m going to get more comfortable turning it off because you’re right, even if he puts himself back to sleep, I wake up at every peep he makes and sit there awake wondering if he’s going to need me or not.
I always woke up just before the baby woke up. We never had a monitor.
Nowadays my super power is being able to walk through my youngest’s tornado of a room without moving a thing – and I am a super neat freak! What powers of restraint I have!
I ALWAYS hear the baby if he fusses in the middle of the night. I don’t think my husband has ever heard that fussiness.
I completely agree with the mom ears! But mine have gone a bit overboard…I now hear my daughter crying when she’s not. I’ll be trying to fall asleep in bed and in my mind I can hear her crying and it sounds SO real, but then I’ll check the monitor and she’s sound asleep. (We have a video monitor- if you don’t have one, they are 100% worth the money!)
Girl I am totally with you on the whole turning the monitor off thing. We NEVER sleep with it on and haven’t for months…it makes for a much more peaceful evening!
Also, since you’re one of my favorite blogs, I wanted to tell you about an AWESOME giveaway I’m doing for THREE CRAWLER COVERS! They would look TOO CUTE on Owen. Click the link below to enter:
http://happilyalawmama.blogspot.com/2011/02/crawler-cover-giveaway.html
Our son slept in our room for his first five months (because of our housing situation), and oh my gosh, I was so glad to get him into his own room. I would wake up when he sighed or moved – it was driving me nuts!
My partner would never hear him, and when he finally started doing baby night duties, too, I’d have to nudge him awake. Now we decide who is going to be getting up during the night before we go to bed, and it’s weird – whoever is ‘on call’ always hears him, and the other always stays asleep. It’s like we’re subconsciously waiting. But if we’re both awake, I definitely hear him first.
I don’t know about any other superpowers… I guess I’m pretty good at predicting when something is about to be thrown in frustration, and catching it.
I’ve been woken up before by the bathroom sink faucet dripping water! It happens. And our dog barking to be let out will wake husband up way before it does me. I was hoping that meant that he would hear the baby crying first too. Darn.
My husband says I can hear a baby cry before the baby even cries…so I know exactly what you mean. It’s a 6th sense that is impossible to turn off. We live in a condo and one day I was home sick and the baby was at day care. I heard a baby in the next unit over start to cry and woke up in a PANIC because I could have sworn it was my kid crying. My husband…it would take the baby screaming directly in his ear to wake him up, but the dog whining…he wakes up to that every time. It’s amazing what they can sleep through!
Ha!! This is explains SO much.
Argh I am so torn on what to do with my little buddy! I’m wanting to turn off the monitor but I’m not sure that I can!
I have those super powers too. Another super power I have is that I can hold my baby forever! Everyone lasts about ten or fifteen minutes but I can carry him around endlessly!