A few weeks ago, at the start of our childbirth class, our instructor asked all of the couples, “Ok, so who’s still wearing their wedding rings?”. We all laughed, and I proudly raised my hand, one of the only people still able to keep their wedding rings on their expanding fingers. Not that it means anything at all, but I was proud to be in that camp.
“Well, I was one of those lucky few also” she continued. “Around 36 weeks into my first pregnancy, in the summer, same as you guys, I started to feel that my hands were a little sore and puffy when I woke up each morning, even after sleeping in air conditioning.” I nodded enthusiastically — the same thing had been happening to me recently. The swelling always went back down if I stayed cool throughout the day, and it was never so much that I felt like my rings were stuck on, but I knew exactly that puffed up feeling she was describing. “And then one day, I woke up and my ring finger was completely blue. Swollen so much I could not pry my rings off. We tried lotion, olive oil, cold water, ice… you name it, we tried it. When it still wouldn’t come off and my poor finger still looked like it was going to fall off, we went to the emergency room where they had to CUT THE RINGS OFF.”
Umm, excuse me?! Benjamin and I exchanged a look of sheer terror. Call me materialistic, but my engagement ring is one of my most prized possessions. I still stare at it almost every day, over five years since the first day Benjamin put it on my finger and asked me to marry him. His proposal was a huge surprise, as was the ring (we’d never even discussed what kind of ring I wanted, and he proposed so early I’m not sure I had even though about it much). It is a constant reminder of how well Benjamin knows me, because I could not have picked out a more perfect ring for myself if I tried. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
So, sniff sniff, as of a few days ago, my rings are off for the rest of the summer. It’s not that I’ve gained too much weight (which is why I always thought pregnant women took their rings off), or even because my swelling was getting out of control and they almost got stuck, but more as a precautionary measure so that I don’t end up in the emergency room watching one of my most loved belongings be cut off of my puffy hand.
It feels weird to not feel the rings on my finger, and I’ve had a few moments of panic that I left them somewhere I shouldn’t have. I’ve also considered that now it looks like I am an unwed mother. But you know what? I don’t really care. My fingers can get as puffy as they want and I know I won’t have to cut my beautiful engagement ring in half!
Such a funny post! I took off my wedding ring about a month ago when I was @ 25 weeks. But my engagement ring (by far the most favored ring) has always been too big on me – I always had to wear it under the wedding ring so that it wouldn’t slip off on cold days. I play with my engagement ring these hot & humid days and chuckle at how snug it is now – and now you’ve scared me with the cutting off story! I just tried it right now and would not be able to pull it off my finger no matter how hard I tried — I’m in a cool room, but with no AC! As I’m going to the beach this weekend with girls, I’m going to try to retire it for the duration when/if I’m in the cool AC tonight!
I figure this will definitely happen to me (my rings sometimes get tight in the summer as it is). I am thinking about getting some cheapie band in a bigger size so my finger won’t have to feel too naked!
32.5 weeks here and the rings still fit. I sleep without them though so every day I can evaluate the situation. My mom had her rings cut off last year after years of never taking them off except to clean. Not fun to have those things fixed.
I have my great grandmother’s wedding band waiting if my fingers swell. I don’t like a naked hand!
Not to be a downer, but don’t forget that it might not fit for a weeks/ months after you’ve had the baby because you’re still losing some of that fluid and weight. My fingers swell up like crazy whenever I gain weight, so I’m still not wearing my wedding rings (I’m five weeks postpartum)…I miss it so much!
Also, I had the same feeling about not wanting to look like an unwed mother so I went to Claire’s and bought a $8 plain ring and wore that. It did the trick no problem, but don’t get frightened when it makes your finger a little green!
I remember that feeling well. Especially the panic when I felt like I had lost them somewhere. I took mine off with Lilly as a precaution as well for similar reasons. In all honesty, I kept them off because when I put them back on after delivery, Lilly insisted on getting poop all over both rings on several occasions. They stayed off for awhile and are of course off once again! You will get used to it and knowing you, you’ll have them back on before you leave the hospital. I only gained 25 pounds with Lilly but the old sausage fingers were very present. With this little girl, I’ve gained 14 pounds and have at least 10 more weeks, maybe even 14 weeks so it’s hard to say where I will end up! Good luck!
It’s definitely not a weight gain thing because I have definitely gained enough weight for that to happen if that was the reason! lol I somehow (so far) have escaped the curse of the swollen fingers and ankles! I don’t want to speak too soon, especially since it didn’t happen to that lady until 36 weeks, but so far so good!
I dropped my rings off for a good buff and polish last week and am wearing a very loose and comfortable gold band that still signifies to the world “no I’m not an unwed mother” lol Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because there’s not, but you know what I mean!
I would be really upset if my rings had to be cut off.
Maybe I should keep the freshly buffed and polished rings away for the rest of the pregnancy too just to be on the safe side!
I totally bought a $10 Wal-Mart ring to wear on my finger for the last month of my pregnancy! I hated not feeling a ring on that finger! But don’t sweat or you’ll turn green
I took mine off last week due to fear that they’d get stuck. There is just that chance that I will swell out-of-control one day and it will be too late to do anything about it. So, I too look like an unwed mother (first comment I made when I took them off), but it’s worth it so that they are intact when I have this baby!
27 weeks in and I’m still wearing my rings without issue, but I know I have a long way to go (and a long summer!) so I’m not counting on anything.
I *hate* naked fingers, so I’m planning on buying a cheapie stand-in if needed. I also thought about asking my mom to borrow my great-grandmother’s engagement ring (my mom inherited it) because I know it’s at least a size or two bigger and I’m sure it would fit my finger, even if swollen. We’ll see! But it does scare me that I could suddenly swell up and not be able to get them off!
I don’t know why but reading this made me want to hug you. I understand how precious an engagement ring is….it is not a materialistic attachment….more of an emotional one, I think. Sorry to hear you had to take it off.
I had to bail on mine about 35 weeks, and I also bought a cheapie C.Z. band on sale for like $11! Made me not feel so naked. I didnt really care if people thought I was an un-wed mother though. They can think what they want!
Yikes! I never thought about them having to cut it off! I’m just about 30 weeks and mine are still very loose because a couple years ago I lost weight and they got big. I’m not too worried because I play around with them all the time taking them on and off while I’m sitting at my desk . I take walks a lot and I know sometimes that gravity makes hands swell but so far so good!
I’ve thought about this as well, and also whether or not I’ll want to wear the rings to the hospital. I think if I end up needing to remove them because of swelling, I’ll get a simple band to wear.
As for the hospital, I may wear them on a chain around my neck or have my husband do that, and then put them back on after delivery.
I echo what other people have said about buying a cheap-o simple band, just to have something to wear. I would feel so naked without my rings!
Wear them on a necklace around your neck! Closer to your heart that way
Oh – the swelling. It totally took me by surprise just like your instructor. Mine was in my feet though – my hands were fine, my feet scared me to death. It first started one night when literally I looked down (I had been using the bathroom of all things) and one foot was completely swollen and distorted. And it happened within just a few minutes! I couldn’t believe it -I called my doctor and they had me monitor it but it went down after staying off of it all night. From that point on, I had regular swelling in my feet. What they didn’t tell me is that I’d continue to have swelling well after the baby was born. It’s the weirdest thing too – I figure all the fluid just dropped down to my feet and legs after he arrived and it took a while for my body to get rid of it. Strange stuff, I tell ya!
ps – you’re not alone, btw. My sister couldn’t wear her rings for weeks before the baby was born. I think I wore mine only for “special occasions” and the rest of the time I just wore a band.
Sorry if i am repeating anyone else’s suggestion, but maybe you could buy a plain necklace/chain and put them on there. THen you can wear the chain with the rings on them.