Third and final segment of “Ask Us Anything”. If you missed them, check out Part 1 and Part 2. Thank you all so much for your questions — we had a lot of fun answering them! I was pleasantly surprised at how similar our answers were, even though we wrote them independently. You brought up some great issues that we had thought about individually but hadn’t necessarily discussed, so it was a good opportunity for us to share with each other too.
21. Did you ever throw up? I remember you saying you had some nausea but wasn’t sure if you ever got “sick sick”.
Kate: I felt generally pretty gross from weeks 7 – 11, but (luckily? unluckily?) I never actually threw up. I am one of those people who avoids throwing up at all costs, so at times I wondered if puking would relieve my hangover-like symptoms… but I just couldn’t do it. I’m still not sure which is better, but I am glad I was able to keep food down to nourish the little babe who was doing a lot of developing at that point. Unfortunately for him I ate 90% carbs to keep that nausea at bay. At that point, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I birthed a bagel!
22. Do you think you’ll continue to blog after baby and beyond?
Kate: Without a doubt! I’ve got the blogging bug. In the beginning, I envisioned blogging to be a way for my family and friends to keep up with the baby I thought we’d have in no time. When we started having problems, blogging became a sort of therapy, a cathartic way to get my thoughts out of my head and to connect with others struggling with the same issues. Now, since I got preggo, it has transformed into a living, breathing journal/memory book/photo album to capture this incredible time in our lives for our baby. It’s such a dynamic way to share thoughts and information; I can’t see myself giving it up anytime soon. And hey, maybe one of these days I’ll become a “famous” blogger who gets stuff for free and is asked to write for other sites/publications. Let’s such say I wouldn’t hesitate to quit my day job if the opportunity arose.
Benjamin: I definitely hope so. I am thrilled that people enjoy reading our ramblings (well, my ramblings… Kate has useful things to say). I am interested to see how we continue to blog and what direction it takes. I don’t want to bore people with posts like “Look what the baby did today” as I am not sure most people care. There will probably be some of that, but I think Kate has turned our blog into a useful resource of information on pregnancy related topics and I think being so personal and informative is what has made this blog work.
23. Were there any certain mental phrases that you repeated to yourself during your infertility treatment (words of encouragement)? I believe that our minds have a great deal of power over how well our bodies perform.
Kate: I didn’t really use any specific mantras during my treatment, but I totally agree that the state of our minds can have incredible power and control over the state of our bodies. As I’ve said before, I was incredibly fortunate to realize that there was a problem almost immediately after going off birth control. I took a very proactive stance and pretty much demanded that doctors take my issue seriously even though I had not been “trying” for a year, which is the medical definition of infertility. So although I might not have been repeating mental phrases, I was certainly soaking in every little piece of knowledge I could about my situation and trying to make any positive changes I could in my lifestyle. In addition, I think one of the reasons I never got completely overwhelmed with the infertility treatments was that I stayed very positive about my body and what it could do. I am fit and healthy and capable of so many things, and that confidence in myself helped me maintain the perspective that once we figured out my fertility issue, we could and we would get pregnant. And, at least in our case, we did. Positivity and perspective were key for me.
24. Do you plan on circumcising your son?
Kate: The short answer is yes. We are going to circumcise our son. However, prior to finding out that we were having a boy, I never realized what a controversial topic this is. For Benjamin and I, the choice was relatively easy. One day one of us said, “So, are we going to circumcise Piccolino?” and the other one said, “I think we should… do you?” “I think so too. I just wanted to see if we were on the same page”. And that was that. However, once we began discussing the issue with other people, I began to see that the answer is not necessarily that simple — there are a LOT of good arguments on both sides. There is also a lot of misinformation out there that people try to use to argue their side of the issue. For us I think our gut instinct was based on aesthetics and our own experiences up to this point in life. Without bogging you down with lots of links, suffice it to say that there are both benefits and risks associated with the procedure, and I think parents should choose whatever feels right to them.
Benjamin: Ah yes, that is a good question. I think we are pretty sure that we will circumcise him. I got the sense growing up that most of my peers were circumcised (I was… in case you are wondering), but I know that circumcision rates have dropped dramatically since then. I found this statistic online: “The intact rate among newborn males in the U.S. has increased from 15 percent in 1965 to 44.5 percent in 2006″ (http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/USA/). So circumcision is still the norm, but not by a lot (although in this region of the US, it is still about 65% who get circumcised). I know that a lot of the health concerns with not circumcising have been proven invalid. My guess is we will still do it, but I do think it’s an odd thing, in general. The idea of cutting something off a baby that they were born with, something that does no harm to them, seems strange.
25. Do you think your life will never, ever be even slightly the same once the baby is born? What parts of your ‘old’ life do you want to keep even though you have a wee one?
Kate: Ha! I love the way this question is worded. Although I realize our lives will change immensely with the addition of a baby, I also think a lot of it will be the same. We already spend most of our time at home (when we’re not traveling). We don’t go out drinking or spend a lot of money on eating in restaurants. We prefer to cook and stay in on a Saturday night, and love our weekend routine of walking the dog, going to the grocery store and tidying up our house. Although the schedule may change bit (especially in the beginning), I think the addition of a baby will make our “normal” routine that much more special. There are some parts of our life now that I do not want to let slip away, though. Like being able to talk, just the two of us. I think back on car rides with my parents and siblings, and, until we were teenagers, I don’t think there were really conversations going on… more like everyone talking at the same time about things going on in their lives. So I want to make sure we build in some quiet time just for us. To talk, or not to talk. One of the things I love most about my relationship with Benjamin is that we don’t always have to talk. We really appreciate just being together without talking. I think that will be really difficult with a loud baby and (inevitably) chatty child. Also, I hope I can find time to continue cooking the way I do now. I LOVE to cook, and Benjamin enjoys eating my carefully planned meals and is always up for trying new things I cook. I know time will be tighter with a baby, but I hope I can find the time to keep cooking us wholesome and delicious meals.
Benjamin: Well, no, our lives will never be the same. We will be parents, and we will have a child (and hopefully someday children) and I imagine that changes everything. But I don’t think everything will have to change. We will still have to work, and I hope that I can continue to have as much drive in my work as I have now, once we have a child. I hope that Kate’s and my relationship stays just as strong (and I suspect it will). I think our priorities will shift dramatically, but I hope that we continue to be able to do some the things we enjoy now, even if it’s less frequent or involves our child.
26. Do you regret anything you have made public on here?
Kate: Actually… no. I think we knew from the beginning that someday we would share this blog with family and friends (once we got pregnant), so although a lot of the info is very personal, I never posted things (about our sex life, for instance) that I wouldn’t want my mom to read. While I think we’ve been very forthcoming and honest, we’ve also chosen what we write, so I don’t mind that it’s out there for anyone to read.
Benjamin: I don’t think I do. Kate edits bad/inappropriate things I say.
27. Do you feel that having struggled with infertility in the past has made you more fearful during the progression of the pregnancy and the prospect of the birth?
Kate: Yes and no. In the first trimester, the struggle to get pregnant did make me more fearful. I was acutely aware of how difficult it was to even get to that point of seeing that little plus sign, and I had created so many relationships with people who had struggled longer and harder, and still had to deal with the pain of miscarriage. In some ways I was over-educated… I Googled every little symptom and spot and pain, and it probably added a level of fear and stress that would not have been present if I had just gotten pregnant right off the bat. That said, struggling to get pregnant also helped me to appreciate and cherish every moment more than I might have if I didn’t have to work so hard for it. Every day I woke up feeling sick, or nights I couldn’t sleep, I never felt frustrated/angry/sad… I just felt thankful. And I realize every single day what an incredible miracle ever baby is. Prior to my little dance with infertility, I never really “got” it. Now, safely in my 3rd trimester, I think I’m past the worrying stage, and I’m just looking forward to this new adventure, and can even look back and appreciate the struggle it took to get here.
Benjamin: Kate can answer this better than I can, but the doctors were pretty clear that the infertility issues, once overcome, would in no way effect the pregnancy. I think we both were a little wary during the first trimester (as most people are), but not really any more so because of the struggle in getting pregnant.
So that’s that! More than you probably ever wanted to know about Benjamin and I 
I am generally an incredibly healthy person. My immune system is strong, and I usually only get sick once a year, if that. However, when I do get sick, I’m out for the count. I’m pretty much a shell of a human being until I am healthy again.
