Those tiny bubbles and little flutters I felt a few weeks ago? You know, the ones that I wondered if they were the baby or just gas or stomach gurgles? Well they are quickly changing into kicks, jabs and jerks that take my breath away. Believe me, I’m not complaining. Every single time I feel my little dude boppin’ around in there it brings a huge smile to my face. I feel so alive and special when I realize (all over again) that I’m carrying around a teeny tiny little person.
Sometimes the kicks are very low, like his foot or elbow is about to come out between my legs. Other times, more often, they are very high, at the very top of my growing bump, like the little guy is banging on the ceiling. I can pretty much predict when I’m going to feel him now: After I eat or exercise and when I’m sitting or lying very still. Right now I’m sitting at my computer after eating breakfast (in Germany… which is why this post is going up at 3am in my normal time zone!) and I can feel him practicing his drumming skills on my lower belly. He seems to calm when I put my hands on my stomach where he’s kicking. Unfortunately this also means he often stops kicking when Benjamin tries to feel him. Yesterday I got my first rib shot. Woo boy, I can see how that will get UNCOMFORTABLE once he is bigger and stronger.
It’s amazing to me how quickly feeling the baby goes from wondrous to “normal”. I mean, it’s still exciting and amazing, but in a matter of days after I started feeling him, I began to think things like, “Oh, that’s just the baby moving around”. There were days when I was trying so hard to get pregnant that I longed for that feeling. I imagined what it would feel like (although you can never really imagine such a feeling), and I remember thinking that I would never, ever take it for granted if and when I did feel it.
And I never have. And never will.
It’s such an incredible responsibility to feel my baby inside me. And such an honor. I may not have a baby yet, but I feel like a mother. The protector of this helpless little being. The one person who can keep him happy and healthy (for now). I can’t think of a better way to spend the day.